Dreams

Hey there, 1998!

Well, your poem is short, sweet and to the point! But despite the lack of words, there is a deeper meaning there that was easy to understand!

It was rather intriguing to read and I found your description of dreams to be mysterious, sad and borderline depressive. But, it was an interesting read, nonetheless, I assure you!

Wonderful piece of writing, hope you continue to write more!


MissLyricz

Hello there 1998 ^_^ I am here to review your poem!

I saw the title of your poem and thought "oh sweet, this will be a nice and mystical poem of magical-ness!" But NOPE, it's something different entirely.

That's not a bad thing, by the way!

The way you describe your dreams are different from other poems I've read in my life that are about dreams. You describe yours in a rather depressing way. I quite like it, as it's something I've never seen before, so kudos to you for writing this! It's awesome!

I especially like your imagery, it's wicked cool ^_^

Keep writing, because your stuff is AWESOME!

Huggles, BornLoser ^_^

~Ello, caliginous here~

Beautiful poem. There's not much to critique here, but I'm going to try anyway.

That first line is very powerful. Amazing beginning, it definitely caught my attention. When I saw a poem titled "Dreams" (uploaded 12 seconds ago...I guess I was in the Green Room at the right time), I figured it would be fantastical and whimsical as such poems usually are. You, however, found an interesting way to describe your dreams. Your choice of black and white gave this poem a...depressing mood. I can truly understand how you feel about your dreams, the hopelessness swelling up inside you, through your excellent word choice.

"dripping into a grey of uncertainty"
Perhaps you should consider removing the "into". It would help the flow of the line and make it easier to understand.

Lines five and six do a fantastic job explaining how the colorless dreams affect you by using the word "expressionless" as you stare down at them. That one word somehow seems to sum up how tou feel in this poem, and this is brilliant.

The last two lines provide an amazing closure. The last line truly ties up the poem, but still adds more and more meaning. Throughout this whole poem, you have crammed deeper meanings into all of the lines. When writing a short poem such as this one, it is important to have use for every word. You certainly accomplished this (except for "into" in the second line, which seems like just an extra word). The only thing I would advise you to change is that second line, but other than that, this poem is exquisite!

And of course, (three days late) welcome to YWS!!!!

~caliginous