Here we go
(Music starts)
As I run through the -battle ground
The screams are heard -all around
As the mines explode -into the air
The soldier’s are- feeling the scare
I have been re-assigned to Iraq
About three times- in my past war lives
Everyday I had a- gun in my hand
Go into battle- with absolutely no plan
Bullets strapped- to the side like a band
Each bullet is a life- taken away in a new land
There is no choice in this
Kill or be killed is the way the government sees this
As I run through the -battle ground
The screams are heard -all around
As the mines explode -into the air
The soldier’s are- feeling the scare
the army is dropping- bombs on cities
they killing kids- its so atrocities
Be thinking about- what your orders are double u
This ain’t no- Blink 182
this is war
there is nothing more
lets bring the troops back- or they will die
Give them a chance- to look at the blue sky
Just one- one more timeeeee
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I think it is a GREAT piece, and it is a clear example of a soldiers life. Although, I noticed that in all of the lines, there was a dash in the middle. To me, it doesn't seem to fit.
Really great piece. I have no clue why good writers and artists say their work is not good. They just make people not want to view it because they think the author/artist thinks nothing of it. I'm not saying you should go into an all out boasting fit, but don't de-grade your work.
-ClimberSquirrel
Coolio, I will give you a star, but I don't get it in some parts. For example what is Blink 182? Also I think you should take out:
Give them a chance- to look at the blue sky
You can see the sky any where. Put in a normal sentence like:
Give them a chance- to not live any more next to a lie