Published October 4, 2008
you see i speak for myself
you copy, and that's bad for your health
i turn my mode on beast
and that's disturbing the peace
my reputation is rising like the gas prices
working around going clockwise
or counterclock wise and still rising
why am i telling you this
it shouldn't be surprising
let's not be debating, not much waiting
for me to be hating
on all the pricks and fags
that pretend to be cool but really they fools
no competition for me
it's only V the gee
take out an AK 47, send you to heaven
shoot out right on the street
bitch with death you don't cheat
death can sometimes be sweet
God you will soon meet
I live in Nashville Tennessee
but everywhere people call me K-I-N-G
you can agree or disagree
if you can spell well
then listen to what i spell
I'm the D-O-N, you are my S-O-N
let me say that A-G-A-I-N
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140,840 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
OK honestly I am telling the truth no offence but the lyrics were slight weak not saying that they were bad i actually enjoyed them alot but you just need to work on yo ryhyming and make the raps even batter good luck in future!
Change it to R. Your friend will still be able to see it.
Just hit the Edit button on the post.
sorry everyone that this song is rated PG-13 and not rated R, my friend asked me to make it PG-13 just so he would be able to see it---yes i know this song is not that good i just did not feel like giving everything good away-sory------sory-----sory, do not judge, luk at something else that i wrote down such as (((My heart is breaking apart)))
Oh, we don't mind. That's what this forum is for: Improving our songwriting abilities. We just need to figure out what's wrong with out bad pieces, fix it, and prevent the mistake in the future.
That's what YWS is for. Making our work better.
sorry everyone that this song is rated PG-13 and not rated R, my friend asked me to make it PG-13 just so he would be able to c it---yes i know this song is not that good i just did not feel like giving everything good away-sory----
sorry everyone that this is rated PG-13, and yes this song does sux because i really did not want to give away anything good- sory
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BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*Gasp*
I'm sorry...I'm sorry...
Really, it wasn't because the song was bad. Which it is.
I was just reading...look, nobody in Nashville is going to like rap music.
I'll try to be helpful here.
The rhymes were forced. Basically, you focus too heavily on making it rhyme, and lose sight of the general purpose. Here's an example of forced rhyming:
See? You need to stay consistent to your topic. In the example, the purpose was the hat, but it strayed to bizzare things that rhymed and only remotely related to the hat. In the first two lines, you stray from your topic - which I will adress in a moment - to something that isn't bad for your health being bad for your health.
Now, the topic. I don't care that rap is "always" like this or "always" like that. I mean, people stereotype country music as being "your dog dying, your wife leaving, your house falling apeart", ect. Now, if I were to say country music is "always" like that and, in turn, write only songs about that topic, country music would crash.
Frankly, this song has no purpose. It's basically saying "I'm awesome, you aren't. Don't copy me or I kill you."
No matter what genre you're interested in, there has to be a topic. That topic can be anything, from a social issue, to trashing a cheating boyfriend's car, to partying at a bar. Whatever it is, there hsa to be a topic that the listener can relate to. And listeners that relate to "I'm awesome, you aren't. Don't copy me or I kill you." are...stupid, frankly.
Dont blame him. I asked him to do it so I could read it.
Maybe his words were evil but its rap.
rap is about gangsters and flushing out anger.
I know Its rated R but Iwanted to read it since he is my freind.
Offensive and stupid.
Even for rap, this had no point, the rhymes were forced, and it was generally bad.
You need to post 2 reviews now, which you should've done before you posted this, in accordance with our 2:1 review:work ratio.
Also, why is this rated PG-13? Obviously, it's R, due to all the slurs and swearing. It is not meant to appear on the front page like PG-13 stuff is allowed to and R stuff is not. Rerate this, don't just rate things PG-13 for the sake of getting more views because it'll be allowed on the front page then.
Ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's my friend. You are back on track king awesome you real mother raper.Even though I listen to heavy but still this was real great s@i%. But their were some parts that didn't exactly sound well like. dont all the time make ryhmes. Not all rap songs ryhme