Published August 25, 2011
This is my first attempt at writing a love poem. Usually, my poems are depressing and about death. Lemme know what ya think!
I just want to know
That you'll never let me go.
Wrap me in your arms.
Keep me safe from harm.
Reassure me with a kiss.
Take me into endless bliss.
Hold me close to you.
I know you'll help me through
The endless toils of my life.
Pulling me through the strife.
And when God calls us to Him,
Tell me that our love will never dim.
Please don't leave my side.
Don't tell me that you lied.
Though our bodies grow old and die,
You can't tell me, "This is goodbye."
I just want to be forever yours...
...And you forever mine
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
138,255 Literary Works • 672,091 Reviews
Hello! It was a beautiful poem and I would like to review. Here we go! First of all, the poetic diction. The language of the poem was simple and understandable, which is what every writer wants. Your emotions were pure and clear (largely due to your choice of words.) I just have one flaw: your punctuation and your use of full stops. Not to great! All in all, I'm impressed at how you seem to change your mode of writing from 'dark to light'. This shows you have a gift. I found it easy to do this. But now am confused on which path to follow in writing. So try not to change your 'voice' to frequently. This was a beautiful poem and I'll be looking foward to reading more of your works. Good luck and tend your flame!
I really love this piece, you should write more love poems your a very talented writer and you should never stop!!!! I love it sooo much write more!
i really liked and enjoyed your poem! along with the choice of words you used. i liked how not all the verses rhymed and how you were able to get out what you wanted in the simplest shortest way. great job!
Yeeeaaaa first love poems are so tough! But you got it! It is beautiful! I love the rhyme scheme in your poem and the stanza structure is prefect! My only suggestion is more emotion, now this poem is great for a "self talk" kind of thing. Annd that shouldn't be changed, because it is what makes it beautiful. But by arranging the words different or even exaggerating a few, it will create more contrast and depth. You are very talented! I am excited to read your depressing stuff!
This is so sweet!!!! I love it! It's a really good poem!!!! You should write more like this!