z

Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

what a time..._day 1

by 0chomp_chomp0


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

Day one ---- 12/19/18

No, I'm not expecting to keep this up for very long but I'm hoping I can get some emotional release or just have a quiet little place to dump a whole bunch of “philosophical” ideas. I wanted to start with an idea about people, although I always say we shouldn’t generalize ourselves like that. So many of us are living bordered lives it is both sad and entertaining to watch us tear at each other in hopes of finding order, being “right”, or out pure boredom.

Consequently, I love the concept of death, sinister-sounding at first, but grasping the idea of what we humans know as the end is nearly impossible, we all see it differently. Many are absolutely terrified of reaching “the end”, but should not we see it as the final rest, true retirement, moving on, and so on, no matter how gruesome or peaceful? It can be hideous, beautiful, loud, quiet, public, private, and in most cases the worst thing that can happen, making it one of the most horrifying and lovely mysteries. We go out the same way we came in -alone. Notice how I only referred to “most” rather than “all”, some people make sure that idea either sits at the very back or at the very front of their thoughts, I’d rather not get into that though, for the ideas are far too familiar.

Sick. Sick. Sick. How many times can one say “sorry”? In some cases, it can justify being late, getting the wrong order, or even forgetting a name. However, how in hell’s name can these words justify the harm inflicted after years of continuous torture. I am the one doing it to myself and I cannot accept my own apology, clearly.

Part 2

On a brighter note, how lovely it is to breath easy as school comes to a pause again. I absolutely adore the time I am able to take to laze around again. Perhaps this time around I will be able to have more of a purpose, my own time of course but how and where? By haps, we can even leave this sad town where nothing good ever happens, during this time.

I feel okay with this space, listening to my music quietly in the comfort of the cosy couch and heavy scent of a tired winter night.


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42 Reviews


Points: 106
Reviews: 42

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Fri Aug 09, 2019 4:53 pm
Corvus wrote a review...



wow. this is absolutely beautiful. I must admit, this is my favorite type of writing, like seeing someone else mind. I find this to be an absolutely fascinating concept. you sound like me, and that is quite comforting, But I digress.

I would be interested to read more work from you. perhaps take these ideas and turn them into a full work. I like your ideas. your thoughts on death seem quite calmingly existential, and I think they a very pretty sounding. this sounds like an old fashioned diary entry and I, personally, love it

overall, I would check your use of commas. some of your sentences feel a little long. don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad about a long sentence, like a flow of thoughts unwinding onto a page, but it is important to know when to stop. try to add shorter ones. don't forget the medium ones either. this mix of the short, medium and the long will let your writing flow like a river, giving it a unique and calm feel. see? it's quite simple. but don't feel bad if you can't get it at first. this like all skills take time to master, and someday it may become second nature. remember, you don't just write words. you write art.

keep up the good work
~Corvus




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85 Reviews


Points: 14
Reviews: 85

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Wed Aug 07, 2019 7:19 pm
Anamel wrote a review...



I think this was a nice, calming read and also relatable. I agree that death seems more like a rest than anything since it's a release from the physical body and all the pains and troubles that come with it. This is a healthy thing to keep up with and I would suggest continuing it, it's fun to write a journal of sorts in the present and look back on it in the future.





But even the worst decisions we make don't necessarily remove us from the circle of humanity.
— Wes Moore, The Other Wes Moore