.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Thanks ^^
Hey there! Even though you put this in "other" I'm going to review it a bit like a poem because it seems to fit that area most.
This is a great start, perhaps, but it reads more like a journal entry than a poem. A good poem will make the reader feel and understand, but here I don't really know what your talking about. What did this guy's friends do to him to make them so horrible? What happened to the speaker to make her a "backstabber"? You talk a lot more about things that happen, make statements, speak to the other person, but I don't know what you're feeling and I don't feel any of it. Poetry is a great form of expression but it should still keep the reader in mind! ^^
"pure, blue eyes" is cliché in my opinion. Sure, the person might have blue eyes and that is the truth, but how can you make his blue eyes unique from all the other blue-eyed people in the world?
Also, just a small note not regarding the poem, chat speak isn't allowed on YWS so next time you want to say "know" I think you should write it out.
Good luck!