DERP DERP DERP DERP
This is perhaps the most complete and relevant epitome of modern writing. Good job?Taking initiative, breaking down the walls and creating food for thought...So, to summarize:No.
So beautifully written. SImplistic and quite insightful
Yo, man.Here's what I think. I think you want to dismiss the normal way of doing things and you want people to laugh in the process. I imagine going back to my workshop at my college, sitting in that semi-circle to read pieces from our journal, and you pull out this and read it with a straight face. And you know, there'd probably be a couple of people who would laugh with it, a couple of people would crack a smile, but you're that broody kid in the corner of the classroom who's mad at the teacher and so does everything possible to rebel out of anger. The thing is, we're not your teacher. Usually that rebel kid has something higher going on in his mind, something he'd rather be doing than being in school, something he'd rather be writing than the school essay or a journal to be read in front of classmates he doesn't really know or respect. We're not your teacher, and there are obviously people who will laugh with you, so you have an audience here.Don't disrespect that or take it for granted. Like, sit here and realize two people so far have left actual critiques on this spam of a piece. If you took the time to post a work you actually put effort into, imagine how much more fun that might be.In short, I think four derps is too few. We usually go with the rhythm of a sentence when we substitute nonsense words. Like "la la la la, la la la". But your "derp derp derp derp" can't be put into an easy rhythm and it ends up putting the emphasis on each one, so it sounds like a march instead of an off-hand recitation.PM me with questions.Post something good soon.Good luck!
Hello there derplolcyan, and welcome to YWS.Before I get into the review itself, I'd just like to mention something about reviewing. Basically, the more you review other members works, the more reviews you'll get in return. Here are a couple of posts to help you get started on reviewing:The YWS Critique Sandwich by NateHow to Write a Good Critique by EmersonWith that said, this piece made me really reconsider the significance of the singular syllable so often employed in the name of silly stupidity. Your capitalization of each letter within each "DERP" caused me to wonder if it was instead an obscure acronym, or set of acronyms, that embodied the essence of each and every "DERP" that ever will be or ever was.D - Daring, Dumb, Downright, Dashing, Dolorous...E - Exciting, Entertaining, Excremental, Envious, Endless...R - Ridiculous, Ravishing, Redoubling, Ruthless, ROFLMAOcious...P - Piddling, Pantomime, Perfect, Pernicious, Pampered...The list of possibilities goes on and on, limited only by the lexical limits of languages. It is truly something worth pondering...
AUTUMN. NO. NONONONONO. NEVER ABUSE CAPS. EVER. IT HURTS THEM.
If you say so.
This spoke to my soul.Please never stop writing <3
110,069 Literary Works • 586,874 Reviews