Hi there.
Admittedly, I haven't read much Byron (nor do I know very much about him), so please forgive me if I ramble on at some point during this review about something I would know about if I was more well read.
I enjoy your meter very much. I also enjoy how you shorten the words to make them fit. Many people leave the whole word in and expect you to know that you should fit them into the meter, but you don't. I like the old way of doing things, and that's what you've done.
I think it would be an interesting twist to adopt the rhyme scheme of one of Byron's more famous works to strengthen the connection between your poem and Byron. For example, in Don Juan (which I've just looked up), he uses an ABABABCC rhyme scheme throughout the section that I've read. It would be interesting if you did the same (just a suggestion).
Some stanzas are better than others. I like the first, the third, the sixth and the seventh, but the rest of them need a little work.
In the second stanza, I'm not quite sure why you're talking about his skin (I might just be missing something, but I don't know). It seems fairly pointless to me, and I think that the poem might do well without it. And If you can do without, take it out (though the images are quite lovely there).
Stanza four also needs some work. The first two lines almost sound comical compared to the rest of the poem so far. The rhyme between feat and feet isn't doing it for me there, and I don't understand why it's important that you mention he had a club foot in this poem. Are you not extolling his virtues? At least when you said in the stanza I previously addressed that he had alabaster skin. I don't think that it's really worthy of mention.
The last line of stanza five isn't really doing much for me. The rest of the stanza is pretty good, though.
The last one is a little confusing to me, though I'm almost sure it's because I don't know much about Byron. So take that into mind, but don't pay too much mind.
You have a good sense for rhythm and language. I hope that you decide to get your own profile and join YWS. We'd be happy to have you.
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