Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction


Initiation Ultimate

by amv


AMARI NEOWARREN

I sit on a sizable grey rock, one of thousands in this vast rock field. I think of what happened in the past, try to collect my thoughts, and wonder how I can change things in these times. Of course, nothing could ever be reverted back to as it was before. The Cantiko is becoming more powerful and Tharseo is gone. Things need to change, but how?

We see that creature often, the one who stole him from us. It’s always there, spying, watching. Just another fallen hero changed by this cursed Initiation. The very look in its petrifying eyes always makes me want to turn into stone. Everyone I know is weakened by its golden-dandelion colored glare, except Tharseo, the friend of the Cantiko, who is now dead. They killed him, just like they killed the rest of those I love or forced them away, maybe forever.

My fingers creep over to the katana lying beside me, its once shiny blade reflecting the greyness of the sky. Around its scratched, well-worn guard is a simple tie of a twisted, frayed golden string. This small twist was my gift from Uzuri, when she was alive and she tried to save me. Yet, she has been killed by one of those vile creatures, too, not Tharseo’s demon Cantiko, but a monster all the same.

The Cantikos are definitely roadblocks in our path to prove our names. Still, they are not our biggest problem. Our biggest problem is surviving the Initiation itself, keeping ourselves safe from exposure and getting enough food to sustain us as the days fly by. We wouldn’t need to worry about any of these if only we were to get out of this mess. The question is, would killing this Cantiko be enough proof to free us all? And if we get out of here, will we ever really be free?

5 YEARS EARLIER…


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
289 Reviews


Points: 30323
Reviews: 289

Donate
Sat Feb 09, 2013 3:27 pm
View Likes
Caesar wrote a review...



Okay, hey there amv. Perhaps you may not return to YWS, so you may not see this, nevertheless, if you do see it, here's my review.

I feel like you accidentally didn't post the entire thing? It's very short, yet it's labeled under Novel, Chapter. The '5 YEARS EARLIER' isn't exactly a suspenseful end, either, which reinforces my opinion of an accidental half-posting.

As things stand, I'm not quite sure what's going on. A group of people need to survive a dark and dangerous process known as the Initiation, and battle...? Creatures? A demon named Cantiko? I'm not exactly sure. You, if you ever see this anyways, should definitely bulk things out. There's not a lot of description going on here either, not a lot of emotion, it's pretty blank.

I feel bad for reviewing this, almost a necroposter/reviewer. But ehh.

Hope this helped
~Ita





This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
— Winston Churchill