As the dawn breakes,
The great thunder booms.
Lightning escapess,
I know what to do.
I will sit now,
And wait for the rain.
Looking at life,
In a different way.
I feel the storm,
Ringing in me.
The great boom of thunder.
The flashes of the light,
All so remind me,
Of flashes of our lives.
Time is like lightning,
Flashing by fast.
We never have the time,
We never really think.
Time is always ending,
Yet beginning anew.
Stopping here and starting there,
Runing circles everywhere.
Remeber all your time,
Don't waste another day.
Fill your life with joy,
Let rainstorms drip away.
Hello again!
I liked your poem very much. There were no grammatical errors, but you did, however misspell a word or two.
It kind of seemed to me like you either thought about it before and typed it out quickly, or you were in a rush. "Remeber" should be "Remember". And "escapess" should be "escapes".
Overall, I give it 4 1/2 stars!
Sincerely,
~Swiftfurthewarrior
I really liked it and didn't see much to critique. One thing I did see is in the third stanza
I feel the storm,
Ringing in me.
The great boom of thunder.
The flashes of the light,
All so remind me,
Of flashes of our lives.
"The flashes of the light" I think it would sound better if it was "The flashes of light" instead.
Thats all I saw, keep up the good work!
Hey, thanks for choosing me as a critic 
Hey so both the content and the rhyme was a bit dissatisfying. I personally believe you can change rhyme scheme if it sounds right, but this simply doesn't sound right. It was very weak through the poem and suddenly you end it here:
Time is like lightning,
Flashing by fast.
We never have the time,
We never really think.
120,216 Literary Works • 649,137 Reviews
Points: 240
Reviews: 32
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