Young Writers Society

WOW!!!!!!!!!
That is all I can say. You've used your language well in this poem, it just needed a bit more gramma.....
But it blew me away, I think that you've done an amzing job 9/10 for sure!
And I like the way you've made it so that we - the readers- make the decision if it is a reality or that of a nightmare, truly amazing!
~Neverland

Hi Imhero!
I'm hanorah and I'll be reviewing your poem this review day!
I loved this poe, I can really relate to this.It was so perfectly laid out and written I cannot prais étouffée enough on this work.
My only constructive critism is that you use some punctuation.
I loved this piece of work, amazing
~keep writing

This poem is amazing! I really love it. I love how it flows through every verse and the idea is inspiring.

Keep writing because I love this

~The World.

This is very good. I like the rhythm but (this may be just me) but after a sentence I dot his
"And if my eyes don’t open,
Meet me by the shallow in the haze,
Whisper gently that I’m sleeping, 
And shake me till I wake."
Instead of
"And if my eyes don’t open
Meet me by the shallow in the haze
Whisper gently that I’m sleeping 
And shake me till I wake"
Just a preference I guess. I really like how you give the feeling that the person is sleeping or awake and it leaves me thinking. this may be another me thing but I didn't understand this sentence.
"Cries of shadow raining skies
Shake as they burn"
What is shaking? I guess that the sky is raining but why would they be shaking? Hope this helps and you understand it. ^_^

I like it. Espiecially the fact that it is short, but still manages to contain more than most poems. You have used your vocabulary well, it seems, and the way the whole thing "clicks" is nice. It feels creative, even if it doesn't feel original enough, and does not feel polished enough. Work more with it and it'll be great.

7,5/10 It' really nice.

Love, Bob Walker!