The Wheelbarrow

I liked all of the garden imagery, all of the wheelbarrows, the grass, the pots, the flowers. Though I found the robot at the end came out of the blue.
I also think the formatting let's this poem down. It must be formatted correctly, if you were intending to write a poem. Anyhow, nice imagery.

Have you read William Carlos Williams' poem, "The Red Wheelbarrow?" That's what this reminds me of. I wouldn't be surprised if you had read it, and this is inspired by it. Or, it could just be a coincidence.

I guess this isn't really a review. But I do agree with Heidi, stanzas would be great. Maybe you had it in stanzas but the formatting got messed up.

I guess some parts were a bit confusing, like "A waterfall of grass, Pouring from my pot." Do you mean grass seed? And what pot? I was a bit confused.

Keep writing!
-Prolix

You should try to put your poems in stanzas. Maybe something like this:

Trundling down the pathway,
bashing into walls.

Getting flat tires,
watching cement fall.

A waterfall of grass,
pouring from my pot.

Planting all my flowers,
like a robot.

There, now that it's formatted I can truly read it. I like the subtle humor you put into an everyday situation.

Write On,

~~Heidi~~

youngwriter-

Besides formatting concerns/problems/issues here, there needs to be a firm grasp of what writing descriptively, figuratively, and annotatively does and will be doing.

Is it a number of connected actions in a sequence? A cute rhyme? Images that say or do action? Does it need to be any of these?

The following is a famous short poem that does very little but says quite a lot.

FOG

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Carl Sandburg

We understand the title having a relationship to the words to describe something interesting in the way it engages our own everyday lives. This is accessible also in its use of imagery that is sensible to moving the rhythm.

Phrases aren't endstopped with periods, but linebreaks.

Basically, nice try, but there's too much not said at all here for me to really invest in anything that is going on beyond an attempt that isn't grasping the writing it presents and bleeding with sweat and tears over the struggle to present what it says at all costs.

Hello, YoungWriter :3

I don't have much to say, for this is a very sweet little poem you have here. One thing I noticed was you spelled "tires" with a "Y" instead of an "I".
Also, if you can fix the errors with the paragraph breaks, that would improved this much.
Your rhyming is nicely done!

~Rainn

Noooo it doesnt set out like i put it:'( Someone help me?x