Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General


9 Ways To Look At Rain

by purplellamas37


1.
Never stopping,
Rain hurdles down forever.
 
2.
Rain sacrifices
Everything to help the
Ponds, lakes, oceans.
Filling them full with all he has.
 
3.
No Rain equals drought
Drought equals death,
But, Rain equals life.
 
4.
Too much Rain
Causes disaster.
Flooding will ruin a town
And lives.
 
5.
Little puddles made of Rain
On the sidewalk.
Unnoticed, unappreciated, stepped on.

6.
Waiting in the clouds,
Forever patient is
Rain.
 
7.
Always falling in their groups,
Never leaving each other.
Rain always works together,
Teamwork.
 
8.
But as the weather changes,
So does Rain.
Rain to snow, snow to Rain,
Not going against the current.
 
9.
It has Rained,
It is Raining,
And it will Rain.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
541 Reviews


Points: 370
Reviews: 541

Donate
Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:36 am
Lauren2010 wrote a review...



Hi purplellamas!

I like the concept you have going here. I love rain, and there's so much you can do with it poetically (and so much you can do with it past the cliche sorts of things usually done with rain). I particularly like the 9th poem, and especially like it as the final poem in this set of nine. It's very summative, and direct, but still sort of beautiful in it's way. I also really like the first poem for many the same reasons!

There's not much I have to say structurally about these poems. I didn't have any grammatical issues that were glaring or disruptive, and this is quite free verse in the way there's no real rhyme scheme (but it still felt like it had a fine enough rhythm that I could read it without having to go back and adjust my internal reading voice).

However, I felt like a few of these poems were lacking in imagination. Like I said, there's so much you can do with rain! Yet many of these state facts, such as rain/water gives life (which is true, but there are so many amazing and poetical ways to say that other than "rain gives life"!). The goal of poetry isn't to tell us the things we know in the ways we already know it, but to show us what we know (or perhaps what we don't quite perceive) in a way we haven't accessed it before. Think about rain abstractly, in different perspectives, and show us some poems that paint it in different pictures but still give a strong meaning.

I really do like this piece, and I think with some tweaking it can be a lovely collection!

Keep writing!

-Lauren-





cron
"My spelling is wobbly. It's good spelling, but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places."
— A.A. Milne