Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Romantic


Creation

by NaRachel


Life wasn't made to be easy     

Nor was it meant to be hard
Skin was made to repair itself
Not leave these ghastly scars
Bones were made to hide our hearts
Protect them from the pain
Mouths created for speaking
Were not made to refrain
 
But love was made to be fragile 
to explode in shards of glass
That pierce through every thought 
Love was made sparse
Love was made to be the peak
And the absolute bottom too
To make us feel completely certain
Of things that are not true 
 
Love was made to make no sense
So why is it here
Why does it linger in our minds
From the first thought to the last tear
Why do we keep searching
When it could leave us twice as lost
And when there is no gain
There's no guaranteed escape of cost
 
When we feel despair
At something that we cannot get 
Think what is love but a creation 
of something we won't forget. 
 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
405 Reviews


Points: 436
Reviews: 405

Donate
Sun Jun 17, 2018 2:21 pm
Eros wrote a review...



Hello there, NaRachel !!!

This is Eros here with a review for your creation, "Creation".

I loved this piece of poetry. I loved how you first describe the skin, the bones, and the mouths, and then gradually comparing these things with love.

It was a unique ideaa, unique thoughts, and a unique way of explaining and describing love...

You have got creative ideas and I loved how well you were able to express them.

Now starting to delve into each and every aspect of the work.

1) The Title ...

I liked the unique title you have given to this poetry. The bones are creation, the skin is a creation and so is love, a creation.

2) The presentation ...

Just as paragraphs make it easy to understand the story, stanzas make it easy to understand a poem.

The stanzas are added perfectly and I love it.

3) The Flow ...

The flow of the poem is very smooth. Creation and addition of stanzas is not enough in a poem.

It is equally important to link those stanzas together with fine threads of ideas flowing continuoussly.

And I am glad to say that you are successful in doing this. :D

4) Nitpicks ...

There aren't any Nitpicks like spelling mistakes or anything that seemed improper.

5) Style of writing ...

Your style of writing the poem is very easy to understand and it helps the readers to know what they are reading.

This is a really beautiful skills to have.

Over all, I loved this piece of poetry !
It was a great work ...and I really appreciate it.

Keep writing such beautiful stuff and we would love to keep reading them !

~ Eros. :D




User avatar
1220 Reviews


Points: 72525
Reviews: 1220

Donate
Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:37 pm
Kale wrote a review...



Hello there, NaRachel. In the name of the Knights of the Green Room and our Most Sacred and Tireless Quest to ensure that no works go unreviewed in the realm of the Literary Area, here I have come to free your long unreviewed piece from its state of reviewlessness on this fine Review Day. I hope you don’t mind. :3

Were not made to refrain

I just wanted to commend you for your usage of "refrain" here. It's not a very common usage, and seeing "refrain" used such made me inexplicably happy.

Now, the one thing that this poem would greatly benefit from is punctuation. Yes, yes, not all poetry needs punctuation, but this poem really has no reason to not have punctuation, and having punctuation would really add more clarity to this piece. As it stands, a lot of the lines and ideas run into each other like muddy colors, and there's no reason for it as the colors aren't combining into new hues but more an icky brown.

Otherwise, for the most part, I liked how you handled your rhyming. Near the end, it began to feel a bit forced, but the first two stanzas were really nice, especially with how you blended the rhyming seamlessly with the not rhyming.



Random avatar
NaRachel says...


Wow...didn't think this one would ever get reviewed! Thanks for your help :)




News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
— John Oliver