Young Writers Society

All and all, I really like the idea. Personifying depression the way you did is rarley done. It orignal, it's new, it's fresh, it's pretty genius. It was soooo refreshing to read. It's great. Keep it up! And keep posting.

My jaw's on the floor. I've only read one other poem from the point of view of a disease. That was one was more positive, but this one. Wow! What emotion! I can see depression as a person, and hear his awful laughter and see him as a horrible bully. Great job. Depression is a person here...it's feeling, living, breathing. It's ANNOYED. An emotion has emotions. This blows my mind.
Someone mentioned that this was more like a story than a poem, but that's what i liked about it. The combination of the girl's pleas and the Depression's sarcastic, horrible narration makes this real and heart wrenching. Awesome.
My only complaint is I wish you'd expanded on her mother a little more. Why is her mother such a "trip"? Does she really care and just clueless about mental illness, or is does her mother just not care.
I liked how the line about rape, abuse, etc. was a little ambiguous. At least it was to me. When I first read it, I thought that was what the girl felt like the depression had done to her. But then I thought she'd maybe gone through all of that. Either way it is powerful and conveys a different scene of the poem. Either she is depressed because of her sucky, abusive life, or she feels like she's had a life like that because of the depression.
Awesome job
oh and since it's review day, check out some of my stuff if you have a minute

Pretty descent poem here. The last stanza, you say O, instead of Oh, probably a little bit of a texting mix up, haha. But this is a very interesting poem, very original. It sort of makes me question a lot of things, makes you look at the world more closely. Nice job =]]

Thank you, for all the reviews. Your support means a lot.

Now this is truly something unique and original! I have never before read a depression story with depression as a character. Or any story with an emotion/sickness as a character at all! Man I'm jealous I didn't think of it first, haha. Alright, details...

Nothing. It's just fun to mess with her.
Making her question her worth.
Her reason for living.

It's hilarious when she gets better and thinks she's gotten rid of me.
Haha. You should see the look on her face.
The beam of light in her eyes, the sun in her smile.
Her hope...

Then, BAM!! I hit her like a truck, head-on, non-stopping.
Laughing as she crumples to the floor in a sniffling heap.
Crying begging me to go away and leave.

Haha. Wow shes a wuss. And she's supposed to be this big and bad chick.
She's not, it's just a fake magic trick.
It's just so fun. She makes it so easy.
And the whining and the pleasing.
Ugh! Just shut up!

Thank you.

WOW. Amazing. That's really all I can say. You are TRULY talented. Keep up your writing, I'm following you. Awesome.

Very nice, very unique. I'll admit, I'll never have thought of doing a poem from an emotion's point of view before. Brilliant.

Although, I will admit it seemed a tiny bit more like a story than a poem. I think that might have something to do with the structure. See, some stanzas have ten lines and some have three. It seemed pretty uneven to me. Also the length of the lines are pretty varied as well. But they are quite easily fixed, just read through it and press the 'enter' button a few times where you deem appropriate and voila! you have a fairly structured poem.

I do love how you personificated the emotions. Very original, very unique. Not only have you personificated the emotions, you also made it sadistic and gave it a personality. It could almost be a character form a story. Keep up the great, original writing!

I really like it sis!!! Can feel the emotion in this and I totally understand the depression....Been through it too. It was beautiful and I can't wait for you to write more whenever you get the chance and I'm willing to help you whenever you need it!!! Keep up the good work sister. Also things WILL get better and I will be here for you every step of the way. Good luck and Happy Writing!!! May you receive many reviews!!! I love your style and I think you will succeed if you are ambitious enough to push it... Great job and I'll see you again soon!!! Best of wishes!!!! *HUGS* Stay strong. See you tomorrow sis. Until laters, Love
Soulkana<3

Wow, this was such a creative perspective! I liked the casuality of depression, because it made it seem more like a real person than an emotion. The poem flowed really well and held my attention the entire time! Stay creative!

Hey I really, really loved this piece it was so unique and different, the idea and content of it was really creative and held a lot of emotion. The only thing I think you should work on is the format, placing the stanzas in a different order to make the poem seem more inviting and not as long. Other than that suggestion I saw nothing wrong with the poem, it was really refreshing but also sad and made me want to slap depression really hard If you're open to changing the format just PM me and I will not change any of the content, just put in a different format. Then you could see if you liked it
Thanks for posting I loved this so much! I can't believe it didn't get more reviews or likes!
Peace,
Snickerdooly

True. Thanks

This is a pretty original idea - I've never read a poem from the point of view of an emotion before. The first line sounds slightly too casual but I think the tone you use is really good because it sounds so apathetic and uncaring. I think you could perhaps add more detail, like exactly why the girl feels depressed, any events that take place, more information on the girl, perhaps develop her character a little, or explain "your" motives if you have any, maybe depression has it in for the girl? I don't know, I think it would be good if there was slightly more to it. Well done though, like I said, love the tone you use.