z

Young Writers Society



Too Beautiful

by forest_ofthe_nightingale


How do you describe
with words
things beyond beauty and grace?
Is there nothing I can say
that will show you what I speak of?

"So beautiful!" you will cry
but I will not understand.
"White whispers of majesty" you breath
but I still do not see.

It is simply indescribable,
too lovely to put into words.
And I wish you could share in my joy.
But you cannot;
Words are not enough.

Disgusted that I can't describe what I see out my window.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
461 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 461

Donate
Wed Sep 19, 2007 6:45 pm
GingerLizzy wrote a review...



Hmm.. Not bad actually

You use good imagary and such, and it tends to have a good flow, although sometimes this is out of whack and tends to just... stumble along? If you understand what I mean.

Your punctuation in some places is a little strange and you don't use enough in other places - try to vary from the everyday comma and period, it makes the poem seem easier and more enjoyabke to read, because you can create suspense with different pauses in different places.

Hope this helps.




User avatar
205 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 205

Donate
Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:56 pm
PsyLynx says...



I can definitely relate. Like it a lot.




User avatar
387 Reviews


Points: 1254
Reviews: 387

Donate
Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:18 pm
yoha_ahoy says...



it's awesome! too bad it's mostly gone now. happy turkey day!




User avatar
75 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 75

Donate
Thu Nov 24, 2005 2:20 am



I can't believe you knew what I was talking about, yoha!!! I freaked out when I saw it this morning but couldn't find words that were worthy of it. :( Oh well. Hey- I got this. (sorry about sp error)




User avatar
387 Reviews


Points: 1254
Reviews: 387

Donate
Wed Nov 23, 2005 8:17 pm
yoha_ahoy says...



cool poem, i love it. i love the pretty snow too. doesnt it make you happy? :D




User avatar
1259 Reviews


Points: 18178
Reviews: 1259

Donate
Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:26 pm
Firestarter wrote a review...



Kind of ironic, since poetry is supposed to be the antidote for the Inadequacy Thesis (that is, that words are not enough to describe everything) and yet ... maybe that was the point of this? Anyway, I liked.

"Undescribeable" should be "indescribable".




Random avatar

Points: 890
Reviews: 4

Donate
Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:20 pm
Moon_Child says...



nice poem, good flow....kind of depressing but then again it isn't. I liked it. Check out some of my poems if you'd like.





Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief