I really enjoyed reading this! I how your use of descriptive writing really helped me form an image in my head of the surroundings as well as what was going on.
I do have just a few comments, however. I noticed at this point " gilded halls of the Beaumont Mansion., Detective Amelia Hart strode" that you accidentally added both a period and a comma, just minor punctuation. same with here "fateful evening., The soft melodies" "secrets it held., The guests' awestruck"
as well as I noticed that you mentioned the same thing twice "Observing the scene with a discerning gaze, she took in the subtle power dynamics at play, the lingering glances" "As she observed the milling crowd, she took note of the subtle power dynamics at play." just a few times things were mentioned twice
But besides that, overall, I really enjoyed reading this and found that I was interested and intrigued while reading it. Keep up the awesome work and I'd love to read more! And continuing my previous comment, the more I read your writing, the more I love it, you aren't just describing the area, you are immersing your reader in the surroundings!
Points: 360
Reviews: 5
Donate