Where am I? -- those are the first words to pop into my mind. I strain my mind in an attempt to remember what has just happened, to try and see if I remember how I got here. But what is "here", exactly?
I open my eyes. Except they are already open. Do I even have eyes in the first place? It's just darkness. It isn't the scary kind of darkness. Somehow it feels rather comforting. Soothing. It envelopes my whole body in its gentle, calming embrace -- that is, if I even had a body.
I am floating, I realise. There is no up or down, right or left. There is nothing. Merely me, or perhaps my mind and my thoughts. There is no sound, either. Even my ears are not ringing. All I can feel is the air around me. Not hot. Not cold, either. It just is, existing as it always has, and always would. I don't know how I know that. I just do.
I feel a certain kind of loneliness. The kind you would feel as a kid, watching the birds fly by. The sun starting to set after a long day spent playing. When you still think this will last forever, this kind of life. It definitely has felt like forever up to that point.
I'd say this kind of loneliness can also be felt when you're older. When you go to the beach and watch the sun slowly lower towards the horizon at midsummer; When you think about how small ants are compared to you, then think about how small you are compared to everything else; When you close a good book you just finished reading, catching up on how it ended within your mind. When you awake in the middle of the night, listening to the sounds of the city, or perhaps a stream of water outside your open window. When you sit alone at a café and watch the people on the street hurrying inside, trying to get cover from the sudden rain.
That kind of loneliness.
I turn on my side in my bed. I look at the summer night sky through my open blinds. The sky is painted a faint blue, with hints of pink, orange and yellow at the bottom. The dimness covers the few trees I can see. A couple of clouds slowly drift from one edge of the window to the other.
I realise I am back. I hear my clock ticking on my wall. I cast a glance towards it. 1 a.m., it reads. I close my eyes and drift back to sleep.
Oh my gosh. Those descriptions are so beautiful, and I truly remembered how loneliness feels. Especially "When you close a good book you just finished reading, catching up on how it ended within your mind."-- I have felt this so many times; finishing a good book seems to leave a little hole in you until you pick up a new one. xD Excellent work!!
Hello, this is AkuRashomon and I am here to give you a review/comment. I love your avatar btw, is it your own art?
Where am I? -- those are the first thoughts to pop into my mind. I strain my mind in an attempt to remember what has just happened, to try and see if I remember how I got here. But what is "here", exactly?
I open my eyes. Except they are already open. Do I even have eyes in the first place? It's just darkness. It isn't the scary kind of darkness. Somehow it feels rather comforting. Soothing. It envelopes my whole body in its gentle, calming embrace -- that is, if I even had a body.
I am floating, I realise. There is no up or down, right or left. There is nothing. Merely me, or perhaps my mind and my thoughts. There is no sound, either. Even my ears are not ringing. All I can feel is the air around me. Not hot. Not cold, either. It just is, existing as it always has, and always would. I don't know how I know that. I just do.
I feel a certain kind of loneliness. The kind you would feel as a kid, watching the birds fly by. The sun starting to set after a long day spent playing. When you still think this will last forever, this kind of life. It definitely has felt like forever up to that point.
I'd say this kind of loneliness can also be felt when you're older. When you go to the beach and watch the sun slowly lower towards the horizon at midsummer; When you think about how small ants are compared to you, then think about how small you are compared to everything else; When you close a good book you just finished reading, catching up on how it ended within your mind. When you awake in the middle of the night, listening to the sounds of the city, or perhas a stream of water outside your open window. When you sit alone at a café and watch the people on the street hurrying inside, trying to get cover from the sudden rain.
That kind of loneliness.
I turn on my side in my bed. I look at the summer night sky through my open blinds. The sky is painted a faint blue, with hints of pink, orange and yellow at the bottom. The dimness covers the few trees I can see. A couple of clouds slowly drift from one edge of the window to the other.
I realise I am back. I hear my clock ticking on my wall. I cast a glance towards it. 1 a.m., it reads. I close my eyes and drift back to sleep.
Hello my fellow writer! Let's get started.
Okay. So first off, I wanted to state how really impressively written this was! The metaphor of loneliness... very well done! You make it relatable for any reader, of any age.
The kind you would feel as a kid, watching the birds fly by...
I'd say this kind of loneliness can also be felt when you're older...
Where am I?
Where am I? -- those are the first thoughts to pop into my mind.
Where am I? -- this is the first thought to pop into my mind.
..to try and see if I remember how I got here. But what is "here", exactly?
..to try and see if I remember how I got here... but what is "here", exactly?
I am floating, I realise.
120,454 Literary Works • 649,892 Reviews
Points: 22563
Reviews: 246
Donate