Hello, illy7896. Here to review this ditty that "never stops"-- Never stops to be amazing! There are many great things here and not at all any critiques!
1) The use of alliteration. I notice a lot of "s" words: spins, spindle, splinters, sharp, silver, spill, sunlight, still, swindles, supply, sky, shadowed. The repetition of this sound heightens the slithery quality of how the moonlight slides in day after day.
2) There's an amazing metaphor here. The moon and sunlight in their cyclic endeavors. Day after day, we weave our lives on our own spindles. The thread never stops churning memories, time, relationships, etc. I absolutely adore the personification of these elements.
3) Although there is no clear rhyme scheme, there is still rhythm in the format. The connections between single words to lines somehow makes structural sense adding to the overall characteristics of this piece. You've masterfully crafted prose that feels like a song despite not having a predictable flow, meter, or beat.
My favorite line is
Sharp edges of silver linings:
They seem to trim away the darkness.
If you look at that line specifically, there is scaffolded meaning. It can be interpreted many different ways each time it's read and given many tones or emotionality. Bravo! This deserves featured on the main page and you have inspired me. Wishing you well wherever you are in the world.
♡ ∩_∩
(„• ֊ •„)♡
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| With love, a |
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Points: 308
Reviews: 81
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