Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Depression can be your worst enemy at times. I try and try and try to forget about my depression. Nothing seems to work. My friends and school are one of the many distractions from my depression. Therapists don’t help. They always ended up telling my mom everything we talked about, even though they just swore on they’re life they weren’t going to tell anyone what we talked about. Music only makes it worse. I can’t even write about my depression because someone will end up reading it. It's just me, myself, and my depression. We are besties until the end of time. When life turns it back on me, depression has my back. When my friends say something that upsets me, depression has my back. When I go to school, my depression vanishes. It’s still there, but not as active as it is when I’m at home. Sitting in class right now, my depression is slowly creeping up on me. Why won’t it leave me alone? Depression loves me like little kids love candy. I’m tired of being depressed. Where did all my happiness go? At school, I’m so happy and cheerful. Once I get on the bus to go home, all my happiness goes out the window. Sometimes I want to disappear and never come back. I wish I could fly away like a bird and never look back. I love my family and friends. I tolerate myself. I don’t hate my life, but I’m unhappy. Why? I don’t know. I have so much to be grateful for but it never seems to be enough. Have you ever been so depressed that you write your own suicide letter? I have. Have you ever been so depressed that you feel like no one would care if you committed the act? I have. I like distracting myself because then I won’t have to worry about my depression. I like being happy. Maybe that’s why I like partying so much. It makes me feel the happiness I crave for. “So much goin’ through my brain, I can barely think.” - Rod Wave. Sometimes I think about slitting my wrist and letting them bleed out everywhere. Sometimes I think about taking all of my medications and overdosing. I can’t say those things aloud though because I’ll be seen as a danger to myself and be sent to a behavioral hospital. My medications make me feel worse and the behavioral hospitals don’t help for shit. The government is just making money off of my insurance. My mom thinks these medications are helping me but in reality they just temporarily stop me from wanting to hurt myself. I don’t think I’d ever commit the act of suicide because I know what I want to do and be in life. I’m afraid even when I make it good in life, I’ll still be unhappy. That’s probably also why I can’t wait to have a kid because then I won’t be living for me, I’ll be living for my child. All I want is to be happy, is that too much to ask for?
This is a incredibly powerful piece here. As someone who can relate to the feelings that are on display here, it hits especially hard and resonates so very strongly. The tone you use is just perfect for addressing a scenario like this. The way that there's not just this sense of talking about how sad one is, but rather you see this craving for happiness, this needing to not feel sad. Its a very powerful way to bring that point across, that being depressed is this unhealthy state of being beyond one's control despite what you do, and the fact that sometimes even if you don't have a circumstance in life that pushes you to that much darker place, depression itself can sometimes just unnaturally push you that way and give you thoughts that you very much would rather live without.
The only tiny piece of advice I would have here is to perhaps break this into two or three paragraphs just for ease of reading. Honestly the flow does not matter in this scenario, I'd even say a block of text of just cascading emotions actually works very well for the subject matter but splitting it into paragraphs would just make it a little bit easier to read.
Overall an incredibly powerful piece with thoughts that truly resonate very deeply with the reader. Just that one small thing to point but otherwise it absolutely gets a powerful message across really quite well.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
My name is Ellie and I am happy to review this wonderful piece you write. The title stood out to me right away. I love pieces that are honest and raw and focus on deep emotions- this was all three. Let's get right into the review!
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