Young Writers Society

Hey! I'm Summerdepressionexe, here with a quick review.

Firstly, I love how you used an allusion to Romeo and Juliet to display your theme. It was very creative and worked really well in my opinion. I also love your theme itself.
Additionally, the flow of this poem is amazing. I don't know how else to describe it besides that each word feels like a logical progression of what came before.
One thing I was wondering; do you have any specific rhyme scheme? A lot of your lines rhyme, but some random ones don't, and I couldn't figure out any pattern between them.
Something I really liked was the descriptions in your second stanza. When you wrote, "If we lived in a different time when photographs came in black and grey I would write you a longhand letter. I would fill page after page and page I would place it in a big blue box and I would send it off on its way," I got literal chills! Using "black and gray" rather than the typical description of black and white adds a very unique feel to this work, and somehow feels more 'in-touch' with this far-off time period.
In your specific line, "I would fill page after page and page," I think the "and page" disrupts the flow a bit. To remedy this, I may suggest changing the quotation to 'I would fill page after page after page' so you can still keep that emphasis on how long and in-depth this letter would be.
In your second to last stanza, the lines, "I'm in complete disarray thinking over all the ways I've convinced you not to stay," are so raw and emotional. I'd love to see you channel that emotion into the rest of your poem as well in the future.
I will say, the last stanza was an absolute masterpiece! I expected for this poem to end sadly, but you did an amazing job at subverting expectations with your bittersweet ending. I'm also a huge fan of how you described fingers as "poised and set to type." This personification conveyed (to me at least) that the rise of impatience today has some good aspects as well, like being able to better keep in touch with loved ones, (and fingers being poised gave me a chuckle).
Overall, I loved how you used so many devices like allusions, personification, flow, and descriptive words to your advantage. The more emotional pieces really stuck out to me and I'd love to see you channel that in more of your writing in the future!

Anyways... have an awesome day and keep writing!!

Hey! Here up with a review

So firstly the theme you used is really nice. It's how we wished of a time when we wouldn't have to overthink too much of the replies, just believed that someone there far away still is there for you. The way you described about the black and grey pictures and those longhand letter which tooks months to reach but still beholded the strongest relations and significance of unconditional love.

Then you added up about how curious and distress the whole situation gets now if the response isn't right away. The waves of overthinking and those doubtful thoughts which left him in disarray

And lastly the acceptance comes that there are certain things one can't always obey, things can't be smooth and perfect always

The very last part where the poet seemed to spent his whole day thinking about her but set back his fingers and instead wrote "Hey.. how was your day?" Was my favourite one in this.. it depicts the care for someone in one's heart

It was overall a beautiful poem and i liked the whole theme.. the small yet beautiful old things you mentioned which beholded the strong significance of love >>

This is just my suggestion in this that the first two lines at the starting seems to be different and gives off a different vibe but later after these the whole poem goes smooth and perfectly

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

You wrote a really neat poem. First of all, I am going to give a few specifics and then jump into overall.

If we were characters in a play

There wouldn’t be any rules to obey

When photographs came in black and grey

I would fill page after page and page

Fingers poised and set to type

Hey Sofie!

I like how your poem is bright, cheerful, and just overall really sweet. There's an element of innocence that makes it really endearing to the reader. I like where you're going with a lot of your imagery, and I think as you continue to write more you're going to find some metaphors you enjoy!

My best advice for you in this review would be to go out and read as much poetry as you can. And while you do that, write as much as you can. If you do that for a few years, I know your poetry is going to take off, you've got a great natural rhythm and poetic voice!

Good luck, keep writing
Spark