Young Writers Society

Hey anne27! My name is Elinor, and I thought I would drop by to give your poem a quick review. I appreciate you sharing it here on YWS, as, like the others have said, this definitely something that feels right for the moment.

While I'm lucky enough not to know anyone who's had COVID, much less die from it, I know many others can say the same and this pandemic has affected all of us and our way of life in some form or another. Overall, I thought your poem got at the sense of how this has affected the entire world.

That being said, I definitely think there's room for you to tinker with it. I'd like to see more of the quieter moments that I think a lot of people struggled with throughout last year. Not wanting to go outside, having events get cancelled, being afraid you have COVID every time you cough, etc - to create a broad picture.

Thanks again for sharing your writing and I appreciated the uplifting message at the end.

All the best,
Elinor

Hi! I am here for a little review,
Your poem hits right in the heart. I too am living where there has been constant lockdown for weeks, the hospital beds are all full and oxygen cylinders are also in constant demand. I have developed a fear of phonecalls to the point I unconsciously hold my breadth untill I am assured that everything is fine and if its not then every breath becomes laden with sadness. So your poem very aptly conveys the misery of current times.

Hospitals now seem like death threats

You might ne'er come back once you go

And with 'test positivity ' going so high

Optimism is an all time low.

You can't meet them, you can't save them

You can't even bring them anything

That helplessness -of seeing people die!

Oh! Is there more distress that the world could bring?

And while some stars may be lost

We still might be able to see the moon!

Wow how appropriate this is for the times we live in now. This is very well written. Your poem has a good and discernible rhythm as well as rhyme.
Although the last bit with the stars and moon doesn't match well with the rest, other than that it is very good and well written.
I hope this was helpful.