How Pluto Loves the Sun

by NivedaJames22

I love thee like Pluto loves the Sun,

Admiring thy fiery splendor from afar,

Beholding the wonder that is thee,

From a distance of miles, knowing

That a step closer could get me scalded.

In my head, I'm like Mercury, nearer

To thee than I shall ever really dare to be,

Radiating in thy glowing warmth,

Whispering cosmic secrets to thee.

But, then again, that's only in my dreams.

I saw a shooting star yesterday,

And pressed a wish upon its flashing tail.

I hoped, that someday, I could gather

The nerve to come a little closer,

But for now, I'll stick to to this aching distance.

I'm scared that I'll burn if I dare near,

Thy magnificent presence, so here I'll remain.

And I know I've been saying thee

Rather than you. That's just my way

Of showing that thou art a cut above the rest.

But, till thou doth lift thy doe-like eyes,

And cast thy gaze on my lowly person,

I shall content myself with this,

This painful yearning, distant gaze,

And love thee like Pluto does the Sun.

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Points: 1285
Reviews: 76

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Sun May 09, 2021 4:07 am

Phillauthet wrote a review...

This poem is amazing. It reminds me of 'The Ballad of the Sun and the Earth' which comes in a book by Amish Tripathi. Check it out if you have the time.

I like the archaic language, especially in that line;
'But, till thou doth lift thy doe-like eyes,'

The language reminds me of the Arrow of Dodona from Trials of Apollo, which I believe you have read. It's really cool how you explain why you use the Shakespearean dialect.

It's also amazing how you say that in your head, you are as close to the Sun as Mercury.

Using the planets to relate to life is amazing!

You've also used the old style only to express the sun, emphasizing that 'thou art a cut above the rest'

Overall, this poem is amazing!!

NivedaJames22 says...

Yeah I know 'The Ballad of the Sun and the Earth'...I love the Shiva trilogy and when Sati recites this, it's just so beautiful.

I also love the arrow of Dodona...I was so upset when it sacrificed itself in "Tower of Nero".

Thank you!

Phillauthet says...

Wait a second... When does Sati recite this?? Raavan recites it to Kumbhakarna in the Ram Chandra Series.

And yeah... That part was really sad... But he defeated Python!

NivedaJames22 says...

Oh yeah, it's there in the Ram Chandra series as well...but there's a part where Sati tells Shiva about it. She doesn't recite it exactly, but she tells him about it, to kind of explain why they both should remain friends.

%u2018Have you heard about the poem of the sun and the

earth?%u2019 Sati asked Shiva.

%u2018No,%u2019 said Shiva with a seductive grin, corning a little

closer to her. %u2018But I%u2019d love to hear it%u2019

%u2018Apparently the earth sometimes thinks of the possibility

of coming closer to the sun,%u2019 said Sati. %u2018But she can%u2019t do

that. She is so base and his brilliance so searing, that she

will cause destruction if she draws him closer.%u2019

%u2018I disagree,%u2019 said Shiva. %u2018I think the sun burns only as long

as the earth is close to him. If the earth wasn%u2019t there, there

would be no reason for the sun to exist.%u2019

%u2018The sun doesn%u2019t exist just for the earth. It exists for every

single planet in the solar system.%u2019

%u2018Isn%u2019t it really the sun%u2019s choice for whom he chooses to

exist?%u2019

%u2018No,%u2019 said Sati, looking at Shiva, melancholic. %u2018The

moment he became the sun, his calling became higher. He

does not exist for himself. He exists for the greater good of

everyone. His luminosity is the lifeblood of the solar system.

And if the earth has any sense of responsibility, she will not

do anything to destroy this balance.%u2019

%u2018So what should the sun do?%u2019 asked Shiva, his hurt and

anger showing on his face. %u2018Just waste his entire life

burning away? Looking at the earth from a distance?%u2019

%u2018The earth isn%u2019t going away anywhere. The sun and the

earth can still share a warm friendship.%u2019

From the Immortals of Meluha

NivedaJames22 says...

Wait...something happened in that quote. This is how it's supposed to be:

"Have you heard about the poem of the sun and the

earth?" Sati asked Shiva.

"No,"said Shiva with a seductive grin, corning a little

closer to her. "But I'd love to hear it"

"Apparently the earth sometimes thinks of the possibility

of coming closer to the sun,"said Sati. "But she can't do

that. She is so base and his brilliance so searing, that she

will cause destruction if she draws him closer."

"I disagree," said Shiva. "I think the sun burns only as long

as the earth is close to him. If the earth wasn't there, there

would be no reason for the sun to exist."

"The sun doesn't exist just for the earth. It exists for every

single planet in the solar system."

"Isn't it really the sun's choice for whom he chooses to

exist?"

"No" said Sati, looking at Shiva, melancholic. "The

moment he became the sun, his calling became higher. He

does not exist for himself. He exists for the greater good of

everyone. His luminosity is the lifeblood of the solar system.

And if the earth has any sense of responsibility, she will not

do anything to destroy this balance."

"So what should the sun do?" asked Shiva, his hurt and

anger showing on his face. "Just waste his entire life

burning away? Looking at the earth from a distance?"

"The earth isn't going away anywhere. The sun and the

earth can still share a warm friendship."

From the Immortals of Meluha

Phillauthet says...

Yeah... But the poem hit me deeper than this part %uD83D%uDE05

NivedaJames22 says...

True...

Points: 390
Reviews: 103

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Tue May 04, 2021 11:55 am

waywardxwanderer wrote a review...

This poem was... absolutely gorgeous. Your extended metaphor is lovely, and the way you keep bringing it back to space makes your love aching and echoing- you can really feel the melancholy in this poem. The way you use words is lovely, and your pacing is perfect. I have no real critiques except for a couple of minor errors:

"Radiating in your glowing warmth..." Here, you used "you" instead of a consistent "thy". I'm unsure if this was intentional?

"And pressed a wish upon it's flashing tail." Here, it would actually be "its", as that is the possessive form of "it".

Otherwise, I have no critiques. It's a really beautiful poem, and your comparison of it to the cosmos gives it a sense of magnificence and wonder that's unparalleled. You should definitely be proud!!

NivedaJames22 says...

I hadn't picked up on those errors...I'll change them soon.

Thanks for reviewing!

Points: 200
Reviews: 0

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Mon May 03, 2021 12:36 pm

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goodhooman says...

I love science, mostly when it is about solar system and this piece is just amazing. I love how creative this writer with the way he used the planets and other things to describe the love that the writer is feeling. It also has a sad side of the poem where it's telling that it is like a one sided love and the writer cannot get closer to the person he/she love

NivedaJames22 says...

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!

Points: 181
Reviews: 15

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Mon May 03, 2021 12:51 am

Rodionandaxe wrote a review...

Hi! I am here to give a little review,

To begin with I absolutely Love your poem. The metaphor of Pluto and the Sun is superb. I am really impressed by your use of archaic pronouns, it gives the piece the perfect romantic touch.

In my head, I'm like Mercury, nearer

To thee than I shall ever really dare to be,

Radiating in your glowing warmth,

Whispering cosmic secrets to thee.

But, then again, that's only in my dreams.

On reading these lines my heart aches, as you have presented the emotions flawlessly that one can feel the pain within themselves. The fact that you have used the huge distances between the Sun and the planets as the way to describe the distance between the protagonist and their lover makes the helplessness feel more impactful.

The protagonist keeps on repeating that they can't imagine being near their lover and therefore shall keep loving them from afar though they crave for more, is such a patient and tame love that you have shown. This is what makes the use of archaic words in this piece perfect for on reading classics one often finds lovers not being able to give in to their feelings because of things like responsibilities and respectability. But then you have used the solar system as a metaphor and that makes your poem really unique.

And pressed a wish upon it's flashing tail.

I am absolutely delighted by this line. A lot of people have wished upon a shooting star, but the way you put it is just divine <3

But, till thou doth lift thy doe-like eyes,

And cast thy gaze on my lowly person,

I shall content myself with this,

This painful yearning, distant gaze,

And love thee like Pluto does the Sun.

The first two line of this stanza paints such a pretty picture in my head, something like a renaissance painting, in that style you know. It's such a beautiful imagery. The ending is ideal, it gives the poem a comfy feel though it describes continued yearning.

All in all, your poem was well written. It had a graceful flow, it was pleasant to read, it makes me want to learn it byheart to recite dramatically at some point {Don't worry if i were ever to recite it i would make sure to credit you

}You have reignited my desire to learn archaic english so maybe one day i can write as elegantly as you have.

Keep writing such wonderful pieces<3

NivedaJames22 says...

Thanks you! I'm so glad you liked it!

Btw if you actually recite it, please do tag me, I'd love to hear it.

Points: 155
Reviews: 25

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Sun May 02, 2021 9:30 pm

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VintageGirl wrote a review...

Hello! Book_Dragon here, with a really quick review because I don't have much to say.

First of all, lovely poem! I like how you use thy and thou, and how you explain it in there. I also like how the first and last lines are very similar. My personal favorite line is, "But, till thou doth lift thy doe-like eyes," because the rhythm is very nice.

I think you could spare to get rid of the word "really" in the line, "to thee than I shall ever really dare to be." It is slightly unnecessary, but it could also just be my own personal preference.

And that's it! Excellent poem, and thank you for making me ship Pluto and the sun!

-Book_Dragon

NivedaJames22 says...

Thank you!

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How Pluto Loves the Sun

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