Hey, Ruby here with a short review,
WWW (What Went Well):
I love the fluidity of your writing, the stanzas can be easily read from one another with breaths taken when needed thanks to your punctuation choices. I love the description and mood that you create also. Every reader gets a unique image and interpretations in their mind which makes the poem flexible for a varied audience. Your word choices are so maturely done, they all seem to fit perfectly in the phrases you constructed.
EBI (Even Better If):
We need more, simply a longer piece. The writing is amazing ; I as the reader wish for more story line, more of a chill. I think that some longer sentence structures towards the end section could really 'bring it to life'. It would give me a lot more thoughts and questions...suspense.
Overall, amazing poem. You obviously took your time with it and let your hand flow with creativity. What you have done is unbelievably clever and put together. You have a gift for writing, carry on the great work!
Love Rubes x
Points: 226
Reviews: 58
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