Hi ForeverYoung299,
Mailice here with a short review! 
That´s a very special poem you wrote there. I like the theme in it and how one can interpret it. I wasn´t expecting something like this, when I start reading it and am surprised about the outcome. I can see, what has derived you to write it, and I also can see, that you have a certain amount of criticism in it, which gives the poem a very unique style.
I can clearly read the emotion and the desire for fame in it. You depict it as a very strong hunger, that goes over good and evil, at least in my opinion. There are certain passages that are a bit extreme in it, what I like, since I think the narrator is the one to want to be famous, no matter what, even if it means to sell his own sister.
Sometimes the poem is a bit too much on certain verses. I think you could expand or rewrite some passages because some seem too repetitive. It occurs to me, as you wanted to show how convinced the narrator in this poem is, to get fame. It reminds me of all the Youtubers and wannabe People on the social media platforms, which do anything for likes, just to be famous. And there I´m asking myself, what they gonna do, when they are famous enough? Then they have achieved their dreams…
The lack of rimes isn´t a bad thing, since it would destroy the meaning behind your poem and the style you are using. I like how some lines are longer, than others. It is as the narrators try to breathe in between, just before their big moment before becoming famous. Some points I found during my read:
Life can bring a lot of discomforts
to the point, we all suffer
The beginning is a really powerful start, as it gives the reader already a good insight into the narrator. They compare the need for fame and not getting it, with other things like hunger, domestic abuse, or other bad things, that nobody should ever have / feel. It gives me as a reader the idea, that the narrator is just ignorant and selfish.
Can't seem to forget
the one thing
I always wanted
Here I think you show in a quite great way, what it is, what keeps the narrator alive and how they want to achieve it. It sounds like a declaration.
I want to see my name
Written in ‘gold’
I´m not sure why you put the gold in quotation marks because there are people whose names are literally written in gold. Or is it a more metaphorical concept of becoming the new hit on the Internet?
What I´m missing in this poem is a bit, why you wrote it. I get it, that the narrator is a selfish brick and wants to become famous, even if it means to die, so one don´t forget him. But I need in some sort of a cause what makes the reader think about the poem. The text itself is written well but it is straightforward and don´t give the message to me, “Hey, don´t be hungry to fame, be nice” or something like this. It just shows in some sort of a worst-case scenario, which isn´t really pleasant.
I think I understand your way, to show this because you brought me to think about how I would become famous and how one should become famous. I believe, it would fit, if you added a new poem from another perspective to show how to become famous by doing the right things, people needed.
Overall it was a nice, entertaining poem with quite a unique voice.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
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