Young Writers Society

Hi Charlie! Hope you're having a fantastic day or night, I'm here for a review!
This is so adorable - it made me genuinely smile to read. I can tell exactly what image you wrote it with in mind, and it's such a sweet one. There's so much genuine emotion in this poem, and it's so sweet that I can feel the emotions that you write with.
I love the imagery of "crows on a telephone wire"! I am a sucker for extended metaphors, and I love that you continue the image of crows throughout the poem. It's such a cute way to imagine it, two strangers. I'm wondering if you could incorporate that image into the second stanza, or maybe into the title? However, the title is beautiful and the second stanza is a nice break back into reality to remind us that we are talking about humans, so my suggestion is totally optional.
I Love the images in this and the imagery is just beautiful. Fantastic job!

This is a very interesting poem. The descriptive, visual language is really great! It creates a sort of unpleasant feeling towards the suburban nightmare which really is a feat. However, my main problem is it doesn't quite flow together however, i'm not one to speak on that as i'm still learning how to incorporate flow. All in all a well crafted piece. With a rework it could go from good to great and maybe, just maybe, excellent. Keep it up!

I seem to like this one and it reminds me of one novel I read back then in school "faceless", about street children and all of that, even if yours may not actually be what I'm describing right now. I love the way you put down your ideas and made good use of your literary appreciations, something I don't really do so often when writing, cause I like writing in simple, sophisticated language.
Your poem is a good one, but I think somethings are wrong, while others are probably missing. I would like to let you know that when next you write, because I know you're a good writer, and so you will. You should probably take note of the fact that your words and diction has to be chosen properly, to avoid misappropriacy of words. Again, there should be at least a chain idea, that is covalent with the one before it. What I mean is that your words shouldn't shouldn't be contradictory and all ideas must point to the theme and title of the poem.
I kind of read this poem over and over before I could actually understand its language and maybe you shouldn't use high sounding words to express an idea all the lines of the poem, not to confuse your readers.
Apart from this, your poem is really nice, and I love it.