Young Writers Society

hi, im sure you recognize me. i’ve just taken some time to reread this before reading Assassin’s Heart. and i’ll make a review for the end here.
from the last few chapters altogether, the mood changed fast. i like the emotion expressed, i feel like it adds more to her character. is she basically becoming an assassin or just getting revenge? either way i love it.
some sentences are perhaps a little off, but really that’s it.
to this day, one year later, i still love this story, and im SO reading the sequel. great job.

Hii, it's mint, here with a review! ^-^ I just came from Chapter 7 of Assassin's Heart, which reminded me that I hadn't finished reading these Lovely Assassin Letters yet! And honestly, I regret not reading them earlier, because they're amazing-- I could really get a sense of each character's personality from their letters. (Amanda's sparkly pink envelope was a nice touch. xD) Also, now it makes a lot more sense why Amanda would join a group of assassins; through these letters, I was able to tell how much she cares for Blake. So yeah, overall, these letters were a delight to read, and they provided helpful information about each character! C:

As for my thoughts on this part specifically, I was rather caught off guard by the first-person. I think changing it to third-person (though Amanda's thoughts can be written in first-person) would be more consistent, though it's a small thing! ^^'

Like Mailice mentioned, it's great how Amanda's thought process is shown! I can tell that she's someone who can make a goal and go right for it. I do agree with Mailice that this part could have been slowed down a little, though-- perhaps Amanda could come to a gradual realization, or a realization could be sparked by something she sees or remembers, instead of her quickly deciding to book a flight and become an assassin. But I'm not sure if it would make this part better, actually, because I like how you show that Amanda is a proactive person, and deciding to book a flight fits her bold, strong-willed personality (and also reflects her impulsivity following Blake's most recent letter). So yeah, just a thought. :]

I placed my face into my hands as sobs racked my whole body. I choked out sharp breaths of air, and I felt so lost. I wanted to do something, but I knew there was nothing I could ever do to stop this.

Blake was too stubborn, his job was too dangerous, and he was too far away.

At this point, I had nothing left to live for.

And what better way to avenge an assassin than to become one?

Hi WishIHadASword,

Mailice here with a short review!

I think it's a shame that the story is coming to an end now. I really expected the big suspense to start now, and you get an insight into Blake's job.

I wouldn't describe your writing right now as "super crappy", but in a wild rush that meets the grief of a young woman who is in love and doesn't know what else the big, wide world has to offer. She clings to the only stalk she knows, hoping to minimise her grief by "taking revenge" on the Agency. I think that sums up the text well.

You can see the clear comparison here between Amanda's letters and her character, that she thinks exactly as she writes, which I think is good that one can spot. It seems a little hectic and rushed in places where you could perhaps expand a little. Still, it's easy to follow Amanda's thought processes and I also think her naivety is very well portrayed here.

One suggestion that comes to mind to make this text a little different from the letters is to write it from the third person, so that you can add a little description of exactly where Amanda is sitting (I wouldn't put it in the first person description, for example, because she is too much in mourning right now and probably can't see clearly because of all the tears). But I think that would just add a little too much to the overall drama.

(Author's Note: There are many better ways my dear, MANY).

The End. For now...