Young Writers Society

Hey!

For starters, I really liked how blunt you are. I've noticed that a lot of people (I plead guilty to this charge too! ) tend to exaggerate their own physical appearance when they write.

I really loved how you ended - there's something firm, absolute about that line, almost as if you're you and nothing anybody says can ever change that. I really liked that.

I also liked this line:

My friends-drifted away

I live somewhere we call hell

On the whole, I loved your poem. Can't wait to read more of your work!

Keep writing.

Talking about the piece from a technical point of view. Its a well written and flawless one. Its short simple and conveys the idea so well. Loved this poem!!!
Lots of love to you, the girl who still smiles besides all the bruises. Who keeps going thriving and breathing. May you be filled with all the love the world has to offer. May you heal and feel alive.
Lastly keep writing and aspiring in life!!!
Best wishes
Bhavya

I love your poem it's good. You should do a another poem that describes yourself you did good with the poem do one about what you wanna be when you get older it would be nice so i hope we see a new one.
you need to one about your life have been we look forward to see one.

your poem was nice do one about how you started singing or whatever.

the you said about a broken girl that was a little sad to me.

This is well written and relatable.
My only question, what does the ‘dream let time control me’ bit mean?

I like this poem and the way that you have described yourself in a blunt and instructive manner, the physical and characteristical factors of your identity. Additionally, starting each line with 'I' and 'my' is effective in doing this. My favourite line was

That’s positively, absolutely me.

My hands has small words reminding me

I dream let time control me

My friends they drifted away