Young Writers Society

Hi there!

Here with a small review on your amazing poem.

As always, I love poems, and yours is just really short and beautiful. You put so much emotion into the poem and your use of words really creates a vivid image in the reader's mind.

*Yes, that's me

Look and you'll see
*
The beginning of a story or poem is very important in this case because it is the best way to attract the reader and you have just nailed that point. It has a mysterious and fascinating effect on them.

*
I dreamed to,let time control me

It’s all clear as can be.

That’s positively, absolutely me.
*
And it seems like you have a very good end to it as well. I love your writing style, definitely keep up the good work!


-Rose

https://rosewriting12.blogspot.com/

Hey!

For starters, I really liked how blunt you are. I've noticed that a lot of people (I plead guilty to this charge too! ) tend to exaggerate their own physical appearance when they write.

I really loved how you ended - there's something firm, absolute about that line, almost as if you're you and nothing anybody says can ever change that. I really liked that.

I also liked this line:

My friends-drifted away

I live somewhere we call hell

On the whole, I loved your poem. Can't wait to read more of your work!

Keep writing.

Talking about the piece from a technical point of view. Its a well written and flawless one. Its short simple and conveys the idea so well. Loved this poem!!!
Lots of love to you, the girl who still smiles besides all the bruises. Who keeps going thriving and breathing. May you be filled with all the love the world has to offer. May you heal and feel alive.
Lastly keep writing and aspiring in life!!!
Best wishes
Bhavya

This is well written and relatable.
My only question, what does the ‘dream let time control me’ bit mean?

I like this poem and the way that you have described yourself in a blunt and instructive manner, the physical and characteristical factors of your identity. Additionally, starting each line with 'I' and 'my' is effective in doing this. My favourite line was

That’s positively, absolutely me.

My hands has small words reminding me

I dream let time control me

My friends they drifted away