Young Writers Society

Hi VioletFantasy,

Mailice here with a short review!

The story is a bit older, but I found the title and the description very interesting and wanted to read through the text. I think your idea behind it is very great and well developed. You put in an argumentation that one can also understand as a reader.

I found it very refreshing to read, especially because it's not a story that follows a plot, as you note, but can be more of a guidebook that has a loose connection between the three big points you present to us.
The narrator comes across as very self-reflective and, by means of the little plot, tries to give the reader advice not to do everything the way she did.

For example, they might show up on my doorstep in the form of the daughter I left.

I would run to Japan, where my technology business could thrive. I had gotten an invitation from a business partner a few weeks back, but I hadn't been interested in the offer until now. It was now a matter of running away from my problems that had become too close for comfort.
Running a Business

Hey! Silverquill here, with a review.

First off, I love the theme you have here. I'm a sucker for little wordplay patterns like this, and love writing them too. Having the three different meanings of running sets you up to have a lovely story told in three different vignettes, and you have mostly pulled through! I enjoyed reading this, as you explore the three different aspects of the narrators life while tying each aspect together.

However, I do have some critiques. I don't think you need that little introduction paragraph. To me, it feels unnecessary and almost hinders the effectiveness of the pattern. You know how people say that if you have to explain a joke, it's not as funny? It feels like that, except it's if you have to explain the pattern, it takes some of the impact of the reader discerning that pattern themselves. I think the title of the overall piece (running) and each little subheading creates the pattern, so the reader doesn't need to have it explained to them.

I also wondered about the context of it. It reads like a speech or letter of some sort, but I couldn't exactly comprehend who she was addressing.

I feel the need to say something about the structure as well. I think that you could perhaps benefit from perhaps starting with the traditional meaning of running (as exercise) and then go to running a business, and then finally running from problems. To me, the ending seemed a little too idealistic. I wasn't sure exactly what I was supposed to leave with. It was abrupt and the narrator seemed to get everything she wanted. It was just sorta... anticlimactic. You start with the most interesting one, the sort of metaphorical "running from your problems" and end with a simpler one (running as exercise). It's led to this reverse story arc, at least in my mind, where you put the point of highest action at the beginning, and wind down from there. This could lead to readers abandoning the piece. (However, this is just a suggestion. You don't have to take it.)

Overall: I loved the concept, and for the most part, you execution was good. I look forward to reading more from you!

Hello VioletFanatasy, I hope you are doing well.
I'd like to say this short handled itself well, delivered on what it promised, and told a deep story the message it promoted. I really like these types of stories, short and to the point. And they don't really leave any space for many grammar mistakes.
With that said, I did not find any. And if there are, they're probably complex sentence mistakes, commas, or subject and verb and conjunction messes. But I don't know that much, so I won't correct it since I don't even know if it's right or wrong.
But onto the good part:

For example, they might show up on my doorstep in the form of the daughter I left. Of course, she showed up at the most inconvenient time. My business was failing, the very same business that I had left my daughter to start when she was only two. It was the perfect time for my problems to strike. How did I handle the situation? I invited my daughter in and talked to her for one night, listening to her talk about her life and answering questions about mine. I figured I owed her. I had left her for a job after all, a job that seemed to be going nowhere.

I was always exceptionally good at coding and understanding computers, so it made sense to make a business involving technology. That was the easy part. I may know my way around computers, but I’m horrible at basically everything else. Managing money, finding a location for the office, hiring people, and even simply coming up with a name for the business. Now you can understand why my business is failing.

Here’s my advice to you: don’t start running, because once you do, you can never stop.