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Running

by VioletFantasy


         Running does not have one concrete meaning. The word can be used in many different ways: running away from your problems, running a business, running as exercise. All of these are different scenarios, but they are large parts of my life.

                   Running Away From Your Problems

         I seem to always be running away from my problems instead of dealing with them. If you ignore and avoid them, they’ll just disappear. Right? It might not be right, but I always find myself reverting back to this solution. I fear that if I ever stop running, my problems will catch up with me. There are always behind me, waiting until I am weak before they pounce and run right into me.

        For example, they might show up on my doorstep in the form of the daughter I left. Of course, she showed up at the most inconvenient time. My business was failing, the very same business that I had left my daughter to start when she was only two. It was the perfect time for my problems to strike. How did I handle the situation? I invited my daughter in and talked to her for one night, listening to her talk about her life and answering questions about mine. I figured I owed her. I had left her for a job after all, a job that seemed to be going nowhere. 

          She left after a few hours and promised she would visit me soon. However, I knew that would not happen because I was going to do what I do best: run away. This time I would run far, farther than I had ever ran before, to avoid being swallowed by my problems. I would run to Japan, where my technology business could thrive. I had gotten an invitation from a business partner a few weeks back, but I hadn’t been interested in the offer until now. It was now a matter of running away from my problems that had become too close for comfort.

                               Running a Business

            I had started to dream about running my own business at a young age. The prospect of all that power and money eventually devoured me. I knew that being an entrepreneur was the job for me. I was always exceptionally good at coding and understanding computers, so it made sense to make a business involving technology. That was the easy part. I may know my way around computers, but I’m horrible at basically everything else. Managing money, finding a location for the office, hiring people, and even simply coming up with a name for the business. Now you can understand why my business is failing. I’m surprised it didn’t get this bad earlier on. I started it over 15 years ago, barely able to pay the bills even then. 

             Japan was my only hope to keep the business that I care about more than my own child from disappearing forever. Mr. Watanabe was offering to help get the company back on its feet if he got 30% of the profit it made each year. I was sceptical at first and was not planning on taking the offer. I wasn’t ready to leave the town I had lived in for my whole life. However, that was before my daughter came over. Once I saw her, I knew that I needed to pack up and leave immediately. And so I did. I caught an early flight and flew to Japan, hoping for another fresh start.

                             Running As Exercise 

               Mr. Watanabe turned out to be a wonderful business partner. Business was booming after a few months of hard work and A LOT of money spent. Mr. Watanabe also proved to be an excellent partner in life. That’s right, I am now Mrs. Watanabe and have been for a couple years now. My life is finally on track. I have a stupendous husband, a prosperous business, and I’ve even taken up running. It’s a good hobby that allows you to decompress and just think. On most runs, I think about how lucky I am and try to think of new marketing ideas for my software company. Unfortunately, they are also times when I am having a bad day. Sometimes, my train of thought will lead to a darker place, like today. Today, all I can think about is the guilt I feel. I abandoned a poor little girl without a second thought. I probably wouldn’t be thinking about her at all if there wasn’t the slim chance that she could somehow find me and make my life a living hell. I am always running away from the ghosts of my past and am showing no sign of stopping. They are everywhere, even in my dreams. It’s too late for me to change, but you still have time. Please, don’t go down the same dreadful path.



Here’s my advice to you: don’t start running, because once you do, you can never stop.


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56 Reviews


Points: 450
Reviews: 56

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Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:09 pm
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey! Silverquill here, with a review.

First off, I love the theme you have here. I'm a sucker for little wordplay patterns like this, and love writing them too. Having the three different meanings of running sets you up to have a lovely story told in three different vignettes, and you have mostly pulled through! I enjoyed reading this, as you explore the three different aspects of the narrators life while tying each aspect together.

However, I do have some critiques. I don't think you need that little introduction paragraph. To me, it feels unnecessary and almost hinders the effectiveness of the pattern. You know how people say that if you have to explain a joke, it's not as funny? It feels like that, except it's if you have to explain the pattern, it takes some of the impact of the reader discerning that pattern themselves. I think the title of the overall piece (running) and each little subheading creates the pattern, so the reader doesn't need to have it explained to them.

I also wondered about the context of it. It reads like a speech or letter of some sort, but I couldn't exactly comprehend who she was addressing.

I feel the need to say something about the structure as well. I think that you could perhaps benefit from perhaps starting with the traditional meaning of running (as exercise) and then go to running a business, and then finally running from problems. To me, the ending seemed a little too idealistic. I wasn't sure exactly what I was supposed to leave with. It was abrupt and the narrator seemed to get everything she wanted. It was just sorta... anticlimactic. You start with the most interesting one, the sort of metaphorical "running from your problems" and end with a simpler one (running as exercise). It's led to this reverse story arc, at least in my mind, where you put the point of highest action at the beginning, and wind down from there. This could lead to readers abandoning the piece. (However, this is just a suggestion. You don't have to take it.)

Overall: I loved the concept, and for the most part, you execution was good. I look forward to reading more from you!






Thank you so much! I%u2019ll definitely consider your advice!



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Tue Aug 04, 2020 4:20 am
WaterSpout wrote a review...



Hello VioletFanatasy, I hope you are doing well.
I'd like to say this short handled itself well, delivered on what it promised, and told a deep story the message it promoted. I really like these types of stories, short and to the point. And they don't really leave any space for many grammar mistakes.
With that said, I did not find any. And if there are, they're probably complex sentence mistakes, commas, or subject and verb and conjunction messes. But I don't know that much, so I won't correct it since I don't even know if it's right or wrong.
But onto the good part:

For example, they might show up on my doorstep in the form of the daughter I left. Of course, she showed up at the most inconvenient time. My business was failing, the very same business that I had left my daughter to start when she was only two. It was the perfect time for my problems to strike. How did I handle the situation? I invited my daughter in and talked to her for one night, listening to her talk about her life and answering questions about mine. I figured I owed her. I had left her for a job after all, a job that seemed to be going nowhere.

Why did she leave her daughter for a job? is probably the most common question to this scenario. But I have to ask, how did she leave her daughter for a job? Did she leave her on the streets? In a foster home(most unlikely)? With her dad? The most likely way is out in the streets, but how did she find her? Unless she left her daughter for adoption and the daughter came back because she saw her. I don't know, because it's a short story. You don't have to explain that, you can let the reader infer and use their imagination. but sometimes it doesn't hurt to at least hint at a possibility. But you don't have to do that.
I was always exceptionally good at coding and understanding computers, so it made sense to make a business involving technology. That was the easy part. I may know my way around computers, but I’m horrible at basically everything else. Managing money, finding a location for the office, hiring people, and even simply coming up with a name for the business. Now you can understand why my business is failing.

This is what I mean at hinting at possibilities. Except here it kinda just tells you why her business is failing in the first place. That's good. And the last sentence adds a personal feel to it, like the speaker is writing a letter or speaking to the reader or listener. Like the last sentence:
Here’s my advice to you: don’t start running, because once you do, you can never stop.

It infers that the speaker is meaning for the listener - or reader - to listen. Or read. Whatever the case, she meant this to be addressed at someone.
Overall, I'd say this has gone really well. No obvious grammar mistakes, good story, and good message. I hope you can keep on writing!
With caution,

WaterSpout






Thank you so much for the review!!



WaterSpout says...


No problem :)




History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
— Napoleon Bonaparte