Young Writers Society

“That power-up was MINE you BITCH!” Chase shrieked, lunging to the edge of his seat. Danny let out a murderous cackle.

“You’re gonna have to be faster than that if you want a piece of this ass!”

Dakota groaned, rubbing his temple with one hand and clutching his Wii remote in the other. “Can you please shut up?”

The other two made no indication they’d heard him. Both on the edge of their seats, eyes fixed on the flat screen TV—it was like they were lost in another world. And that other world had lots and lots of swearing.

Dakota of course, being in twelfth place, had pretty much given up at this point. He slumped down the couch, halfheartedly steering his dumb little Mario kart. Danny and Chase were neck-in-neck for first, but Dakota was getting tired of always coming in last.

“No, no, no, NO—YES!”

“You MOTHERFUCKER!” Chase shrieked. “Did you see that?! He cut me off at the last second!”

Dakota just let out a long sigh. “Can you please stop swearing so loud.”

“Did you not see what he did, though!?” Chase cried, gesturing frantically at Danny.

“Yeah, it was totally awesome,” Danny said, lounging across the couch. He moved to put his legs across Chase’s lap and his head in Dakota’s, but both of them shoved him off as soon as he tried. “Aw, come on. You guys are so rude.”

Dakota unwound the wrist strap and placed his Wii remote on the end table. “I’m done with this game.”

“But we still have two races left,” Chase protested.

“Nope. I’m done.”

“Aww, did you get frustrated?” Danny cooed, leaning against his shoulder. He smothered Dakota in a hug, squishing him into the couch.

“Stop,” Dakota complained, flailing his arms. Danny smushed his face into the crook of his neck, his breaths hot and damp. “Chase, save me.”

“Danny you’re gonna squish him into a pancake,” Chase said from the other side of the couch.

Danny raised his head, his hot pink bangs hanging in his eyes. He pressed a kiss to Dakota’s jaw, pulling away with a loud smack. “But he’s just so cuuuute.”

Dakota quit squirming. He didn’t mind Danny’s weight—it was warm and comforting, like he was squishing Dakota’s soul back into his body—he just hated being so cuddly when he was at home. What if his dad walked in on them like this?

But then again, what did it matter? After tomorrow, he wouldn’t see Danny again for nearly three months.

He slid his arms around his boyfriend, accepting his pancake fate. At least for right now, he could savor this.

“You look exceptionally cute today,” Danny said, his face hovering above Dakota’s. His hair tickled his face. Dakota scrunched up his nose.

“Get out of my face.”

Danny sighed. “So eloquent. So romantic.”

Dakota stuck his tongue out at him. Danny returned it.

“So if we’re quitting Mario Kart, what should we play next?” Chase said. Danny climbed off him and Dakota sat up. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging out the knots. He looked up and realized both pairs of eyes were on him.

“Um... I don’t know. I don’t feel like playing anything,” he said.

“You sure?” Chase said.

“C’mon, Dakota!” Danny cried, nudging him with his elbow. Dakota winced. “Aren’t you in the mood for anything?”

“I don’t know. Not really,” he mumbled. He bit his lip, ducking his head. Their last night together, and he couldn’t even enjoy it. Danny and Chase were trying so hard to have fun, and he was killing the mood.

Emotion rose in his throat. He covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“Dakota...” Chase said.

Danny rested his hand on his leg. “Dakota, it’s okay.”

“It’s just-” Dakota squeaked. He paused to take a deep breath. “You guys are just trying to enjoy our time together, and I... I’m just ruining it, aren’t I?”

“You’re not ruining anything,” Danny soothed, clasping his hand. Dakota glanced up when Chase squeezed between him and the arm of the couch. He squirmed closer to Danny, squished between the two of them.

Chase took his other hand, lacing their fingers together. He ran his thumb over Dakota’s knuckles, gazing at it.

Dakota tried to swallow the emotions swirling in his throat. His eyes burned, his lip quivering.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Chase’s eyes met his.

“Stop apologizing. You haven’t done anything wrong,” he murmured. “It’s okay to be upset. Sometimes, trying to be happy hurts worse.”

“But this is our last night together,” Dakota whispered. “I should be having fun.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Chase said. “Dwelling on it sucks, but it’s okay to acknowledge that you’re upset.”

“Yeah, plus, it’s worse for you,” Danny said. “At least Chase and I will be together, but you’re all alone. So don’t feel bad for being upset. Please.”

Dakota glanced between their faces, both wearing equally gentle expressions. His lip quivered.

“I want to go with you so bad,” he whispered. He untangled his hands from theirs and covered his face. The last thing he wanted to do was cry, but it seemed it was too late.

Danny pulled him into his chest, resting his chin on his head. Chase leaned into him, sliding his arms around his waist.

“You’ll see us in a few months,” Danny said, rubbing his hand up and down Dakota’s arm.

“Plus, you can still text us. And there’s video calls,” Chase added. “We won’t be gone completely. We’ll just be a little farther away.”

“Yeah, across the country,” Dakota mumbled. “What if you forget about me? You guys were already perfect together long before you found me, and-”

“Hey! We don’t talk like that in this house,” Danny said, poking him in the side. Dakota squirmed. “We are a collector’s edition one-of-a-kind set. You can’t break up the set, Dakota! You can’t just have two, that’s not enough!”

“He’s right,” Chase said. “Danny and I aren’t halves, we’re thirds. Without you, we’re still missing a piece.”

Dakota’s vision swam. He blinked rapidly. “So... you promise not to forget me?”

Chase gave him a peck on the lips. “We promise.”

Warmth stirred in Dakota’s stomach. No matter how many kisses he’d shared with these two, it still felt surreal. These boys couldn’t really be his. They were perfect together already—they didn’t need him.

But the look in Chase’s eyes said differently. His eyes were as gentle and blue as the ocean had been on that trip to Florida—when they’d walked along the beach, holding hands for the first time. (Because Dakota had to be four states away from home before he was remotely comfortable with PDA.)

They’d been together for two summers—two eye-opening, heart-stopping years—and now Chase was leaving for college, and Danny was going with him to start a career in the music industry. They’d been working out the kinks all summer, and they were all set for liftoff.

And Dakota was going to be alone. Stuck here with his boring family and his boring college and his boring job, while his two boys started living their dreams without him.

Grief welled inside him. Instead of crashing down like a tidal wave; it faded away, like gentle waves lapping at the sand. Like he’d realized he’d only destroy the things he loved if he threw a fit.

His chest rattled with a deep breath. “I’m okay.”

Danny rubbed his arm. “You sure?”

Dakota slowly sat up, so Danny let him go. He brushed his hair behind his ear. “Yeah. You guys will be home for Thanksgiving break. That’s only three months away.”

Only. As if the longest they’d ever been apart hadn’t been two weeks. As if Dakota didn’t feel like he was suffocating whenever he was alone.

“Yeah! And then after that, we’ll be home for Christmas. And after that’s spring break, and then-”

“And then you guys will be home for the summer,” Dakota said, feeling his mood pick up a little. Danny and Chase shared a glance.

Dakota felt ice gather in his stomach. “You guys... are coming home for the summer, right?”

Danny scratched the back of his neck. Neither of them would look him in the eyes. “Well...”

Chase placed a hand on his arm. “Dakota, Danny and I aren’t going to be in a dorm. We’re getting a real apartment together. We’ll try to visit during the summer, but...”

The floor fell away beneath him. “So... you’re not going away for college. You’re just... going away.”

Chase pressed his mouth into a thin line. “...Yeah. I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“It’s my fault,” Danny said. “I didn’t know how to break the news. I didn’t want to upset you.”

The world spun around him. He fixed his eyes on the floor. “So you won’t be coming home. You’ll just be visiting. I can’t wait for you to come back, because you won’t.”

“Dakota-”

Everywhere their skin touched suddenly seemed to burn him. Desperate to get away, he jolted off the couch. He paced, shaking his head.

“It’s fine,” he muttered, wringing his hands. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Hands closed over his and pulled them apart. Chase gripped his fingers tightly to keep them still.

“Dakota. Look at me.”

Dakota’s eyes burned. He shook his head, afraid what would happen if he looked Chase in the eyes.

Chase let go of one hand so he could tilt Dakota’s chin up.

“You know how much it hurts to leave you,” he murmured, his eyes gentle. Dakota blinked rapidly. Chase brushed his thumb under his eye. “If I could bring you with us, I would take you upstairs right now to help you pack your things. But... this isn’t something I can control.”

Dakota studied his gaze. As much as it hurt to hear him say that...

“I know,” he whispered.

Chase raised their clasped hands and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

“I know you,” he murmured. He slid an arm around Dakota’s waist, pulling him closer. “You’re one of the strongest people I know. You’ve survived so much shit already, and that’s why I know you can make it through this, too. Someday you’ll get out of here, and all three of us can rock it in Cali.”

“But what if you forget about me?” Dakota squeaked. Chase’s gaze hardened. He pulled Dakota closer by the waist, winding his fingers in his hair. He pressed his mouth against his, kissing him hard.

Dakota’s pulse pounded in his head. Chase’s lips felt hot, or maybe that was just his own face. He wound his arm around his shoulders, letting safety wash over him.

“Stop oh my gawd, you’re making me jealous,” Danny said. The two of them slowly pulled apart.

“Anyways,” Chase said, slightly breathless. “Does that answer your question?”

Dakota just gazed at him. His big, dorky glasses, his freckles, his elfish features. Was this boy really his?

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Oh my GOD.” Danny grabbed his arm and pulled him around. He grabbed Dakota by the shoulders. “Baby. We love you. If you feel like I’m forgetting about you, you have permission to kick my ass. Okay?”

Dakota pushed his lower lip out in a frown. Danny cupped his face and kissed him.

“Listen. I promise I’ll text you every day until I see you again,” he said, green eyes studying his. “If I forget to text you good morning, you can vague tweet about me. I will see it and feel bad, and then I will apologize for my wrongdoing and all will be well.”

“You lost me,” Dakota said.

“The point is,” Danny said, tugging on his hand. “Even if I cannot physically shower you in affection, I can still digitally shower you in affection. My love is not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

Love swelled in his chest. He glanced between his two boyfriends, his heart aching.

“Okay,” he sighed. “I can do this.”

(#)

Everything was quiet, now.

Sunlight spilled across the floor like sheets of silky fabric. It lit up the room a vibrant orange. To Dakota, it only seemed gray.

They were gone now, on a plane to California. They’d left early in the morning. The three of them had already said all of their goodbyes.

Surprisingly, Dakota hadn’t cried. The last he’d seen of either of them had been Danny—smiling so bright it could match the sun—waving at him, shouting one last goodbye: “I love you, baby! See you soon!”

Dakota had returned his smile (albeit through bleary eyes) and waved. And then he was gone.

He didn’t think he’d feel this... calm.

He stood in the middle of his room, letting sunlight spill over him. The shadows of tree branches outside swayed through the light, like dancing arms to music no one could hear.

Was the world moving in slow motion, or was that just his mind? This was unreal—dreamlike, like he was floating in the void of another dimension. Lost in a world that was hazy and safe. He couldn’t be sad if he couldn’t feel at all, right?

He took one step across the hardwood floor. Out of the sunlight. One step after the other.

He paused in front of the couch. Wii remotes, half-eaten chip bags, and empty soda cans were in a heap on the coffee table. Memories from last night.

A pang of sadness shot through him, like a twang of a single harp string. Chase and Danny had just been here, and now they were gone for months. How was he possibly supposed to wrap his head around that?

He started cleaning up. They barely ever hung out here—usually only at Chase’s house, since neither Danny or Dakota’s parents approved of having friends over—except all of Chase’s stuff had been packed up and ready to go. Since Danny was in the same predicament, that left Dakota’s house as the best option.

Dakota struggled not to think about how big and empty this house would be without them. During the summer, he practically lived at Chase’s. With just Dakota’s father here, it felt like sharing a house with a time-bomb.

He was gone for work today, thankfully. At least Dakota had the house to himself. He’d be home soon, though—and Dakota would have no excuses to avoid him.

Dakota was enrolled in a school upstate, within a few hours driving distance of home. He didn’t need to be up there for another week and a half, so he hadn’t packed up much of his stuff yet. It wasn’t a school of his choosing—it was the college his father had attended, and he firmly wanted Dakota to follow in his footsteps.

Dakota would much rather go to Cali to study animation. Making animated films was something he’d always dreamed about since he was a little kid, and it coincided with Danny and Chase’s aspirations so neatly.

But Dakota’s father didn’t change his mind. Ever.

He sat down hard on the couch and rested his head in his hands. If only things had been a little bit different, he could’ve been on that plane with his boys. If only his father wasn’t so set in his ways. If only Dakota had the guts to stand up to him, like Danny would’ve.

But Dakota’s life had started to get too good to be true. He should’ve known he never had nice things for long.

Hot tears burned his face. Without Danny and Chase, he didn’t know if he could make it. They’d found him when he was at his worst—freshman year of highschool—and they’d kept him alive long enough to realize everything would be okay.

Except now they were gone again, and Dakota felt exactly the way he had when he’d stepped into school on his first day of highschool. Alone, scared of the future. Scared of himself.

He pressed the palms of his hands over his eyes, stretching his legs out. His foot bumped something.

Blinking tears out of his eyes, he blearily looked up. On the floor, tucked under the coffee table, was a small white box.

Huh? Dakota didn’t have a small white box. And he especially wouldn’t keep a small white box under his coffee table.

He reached down and lifted it up. Did one of the boys forget something of theirs...?

He set it on the table and gingerly lifted the lid off. Inside, a red envelope rested at the top. In Chase’s compact handwriting, it said “Open first”.

Dakota lifted the letter out. Beneath it rested an envelope of a slightly oranger shade of red. That one said “Open when you’re super bored”.

Confusion stirring through him like a pot of water about to boil, he ripped open the first letter.

Dear Dakota,

I’m not sure how I’m going to give this to you, but if you’re reading this, I’ve probably left for California.

There’s a lot I want to say to you, but you know I’m not the most eloquent of writers. HTML is a waaay easier language to understand, but that’s not the language you and I share, so I’ll stick with English. (For now).

I know how you must be feeling right now, because I know how I feel as I’m trying to write this. It’s proving... difficult. I’ve been pacing my room for a while just trying to figure out what to do. There has to be some way I can make sure you’ll be safe and happy while I’m gone. I just don’t know what it is.

I love you. So much. More than I could ever put into words.

Dakota paused, blinking rapidly. He wiped his face with the palm of his hand.

I saw this idea on the Internet ages ago. They’re called “open when” letters, for long-distance relationships. Basically, I wrote you fifteen little letters for a bunch of different stuff. They’re short and sweet, since I didn’t have a lot of time. I hope you like them anyways.

Don’t peek. Make them last as long as you can. I’ll write you more to give you when I see you again.

I love you,

Chase

Dakota gazed at his handwriting. The twanging of his heartstrings was still there, but a soft, familiar affection washed it down. When had Chase had the time to write him fifteen letters?

He dug through the box, laying out each letter on the coffee table. Fifteen to count. Each with its own colorful envelope in a rainbow assortment. He felt like his heart might burst.

A familiar buzz reached his ears. He glanced around for his phone and found it disappearing between the couch cushions.

He’d gotten a text message.

Danny: hey baby! :* I miss you so much already!! The plane is so BORING

Danny: only 58 more days until we can see each other again1!!

Dakota’s heart soared. A smile worked its way onto his face automatically.

Dakota: i cant wait. I miss you too

Just because his boys had left, didn’t mean they had never been here at all. As long as they were a part of Dakota’s life, he knew he’d be all right.

Only fifty-eight more days to go.

[END]