Young Writers Society

Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.

Italicized = My interpretation of the line
Bolded = Spelling mistake
Strikethrough = Remove
Underline = Add imagery/descriptive words

Hi EKK15!

This is an interesting poem you have brought to us. I like the whole idea of sync, and how it is compared to a dance. I interpreted it to be two people who are afraid to be in sync, afraid to show too much. Yet we hurt each other that way, resulting in falls and clumsiness. If we would trust each other, and join in sync, something beautiful would result. It's a beautiful idea - what you have here - and I quite enjoy it!

The first four lines don't seem to be involved as part of that dance, and seemed like a sort of intro to help you get into what's actually going on, which was the only part of this I somewhat disliked. I think you could probably find a better way to get into the poem than that.

Overall, I think this is fantastic. Thanks for sharing!

cheers for now!
~rosette

I like the way that being out of sync with others is illustrated by the clumsiness of a dance as well as a walk and then crawling on all fours. The poem made me ponder the significance of being in sync with others and its various positive and negative ramifications.


We do often resort to weird antics in order to bring that synchronization about. Especially if being out of sync endangers our livelihood. You know, like being out of sync with the boss, or foreman, pastor, school teacher, neighborhood bully, or the girl we are trying to desperately impress.

Then we will be willing to do somersaults in order to be in sync. On the other hand, being in sync can also land us in jail or maybe in the mortuary. So we have to be careful who we attempt to be in sync with. Being in sync with God is good as long as our concept of God doesn't involve human sacrifice as the Aztecs did. I mean, they thought themselves totally in sync with their deity and look at all the havoc they were causing. In short,being in sync can either be positive or negative depending on what or who we are in sync with.


My favorite line is

Rewire your brain

and connect the synapses to mine.