I LOVE THIS
It's so horribly true, and I'm so sick of the ridicule and hate consuming everyone. You make mention of some valid points in here, which I really appreciated. And loved.
What I noticed with this poem is it's so straight forward and direct, which I like, but I do think some showing, instead of just telling would also be effective. This society is full of ridicule - how? What imperfections do we hate? I think more can be said than what is just in this these few lines. Obviously you don't want to write a full sermon out to us , but I think some included details and descriptions would help.
One aspect of this poem confused me a bit, and that was the four closing lines. I think it's a lovely, solid ending, but I'm not quite sure what you mean. "We ask the wrong questions" - what wrong questions? What wrong questions are we asking? Is this a wrong question? (xD sorry, couldn't resist) Then, the very last line states "And expect them to be answered". But if I am going to ask these questions you have proposed... I don't really expect an answer. They're hard questions, and I don't think they can be answered easily.
I'm not sure if I made my point clear, but I hope I did. >.< Thank you for sharing this poem with us, and keep up your writing!
cheers for now!
~rosette
Points: 16802
Reviews: 276
Donate