Young Writers Society

I actually really enjoyed this. It took me a few lines to find the rhythm, but when I did, this completely wowed me. I honestly love it so much. Usually poems with this theme can come off as cheesy or overdone, but you did this amazingly. I love it!

WOW. Just wow. This has so much feeling so much pain. I can’t describe what this meant to me for someone to not be afraid to write a poem about the hurricane/monster within. “We are all fighting the same fight just with different demons.” To me this poem was based on that saying. We/you are fighting different fights with different demons and problems and hardships. This poem speaks to me in a way because I hide myself inside myself and I put on an “act”. This poem is not just talking about you, about me or about anyone it is talking about everyone at some point in their life. We are all self harming in a way and this poem is what we are afraid to say. Thank you for writing something to hard. 10/10
~Cheers!!

Hiya! Temptress here to give a review!

First of all, I love this poem because it's so relatable to me. I feel like a 'hurricane' or depressed and suicidal sometimes, well, quite often to be often. I feel like I tell everyone, or almost everyone, that i'm fine and okay. And most times I feel like everyone tells me i'll be fine. I fell alone a lot of the time and this poem is the way I feel, and probably some other people, feel in words. The use of metaphor of the self harm and blood as a 'storm' was very creative and I would have never thought of that. But please remember that you aren't alone in this and you can always feel free to talk to me or someone you trust about to help get your feelings out and maybe it will help you feel less like you do.

Anyways, once again, This is a well written poem and I absolutely loved it. I can't wait to read more of your works.

Until next time!

~Temptress~

This is less of a review and more on what was good and what was bad about this. First of all I am about one year younger than you are aunt his poem does describe some things about what most middle and high schoolers feel. We feel like no one understands and that our parents think that it is a phase when to us it really isn't. We feel like we are trapped and misunderstood. That fake smile is not always fake I can tell you that much. I can get really depressed sometimes but somehow I can still have a genuine smile. This thing about being an empty shell, I can totally understand it but the only problem I have with this poem is about suicide I find it really sad and a difficult to find words to say but, what I can say is that subject is nothing to find funny, interesting or cute this poem describes emotion and pain. It describes sadness and fear. It has a deep meaning and sometimes I wonder why is it that this happens, what would cause people do to such things? These questions I may never find an answer to but maybe just maybe if these people who are suffering can find a person who will fill that empty shell of theirs than maybe that person can live a happy life.

Technically and poetically the poem is sound. The writer definitely has great skill in expressing what he or she is feeling in a poetical way. The first person approach makes the message much more poignant increasing its urgency to the point of making the reader worry. So if that is one of the poem's intentions, it succeeded with me.

The poem expresses deep frustration of a character that feels he or she has been transformed by others into someone he or she personally considers a mere shell of a former self. This causes an inner turmoil of emotions that the writer compares to a storm. In fact, the writer tells us that he or she herself feels like a storm struggling to burst out of an imprisoning shell.

We are told that the ones who imprisoned him or her refuse to listen to expressions of pain or frustration. Instead, they minimize it by promising a quick recovery as if what has occurred is insignificant. In short, the speaker tells us that these people don't seem to give a hoot on how she or he feels.

What the transformation was, or how these mysterious others brought about that is causing this hurricane, we aren't told. So that part is up for interpretation. Did it involve surgery? Did it involve enforcement of a drastically changed lifestyle? Did it involve the negation of a strongly felt love? Whatever it might have been, it leads to expressions of suicide.

Addendum:

I am truly surprised to see so many poems dedicated to the desire for suicide written by young persons. My first reaction is to worry whether the writer will go through with it or not. After all, suicidal tendencies are considered to be a manifestation of a mental illness that needs professional attention. Since that is the case, it is only natural that a [normal] reader would feel some responsibility toward someone who expresses such a strong urge. Because of that the evaluation of how the poem is written becomes of secondary and even of very little importance at all. That's the effect the poem had on me as a reader.