Young Writers Society

Hello, Radrook! Let's dive into the review!

From the start I could tell right away that you knew what you were writing about -- you definitely planned this well (but not too much). Your use of imagery and words really came to your advantage. I admire your well thought out work!

in some macabre urge to die.

Not sure about this line; the use of words definitely failed to appeal to the audience. The issue you was, is that "urge to die" didn't seem correct. It was kind of awkward and didn't fit well with the rest of the poem. Do they really have an urge to die? Or is that actually just to set some sort of theme? If you want to portray a theme better, make sure it can metaphorically work. Flies having an urge to die is... strange.

The somber, brooding foliage fringes my road

"my" road? Perhaps change this to "the" road. I get the urge to show the possession, though "the" makes more sense.

Raccoons, rats, ravens and an occasional deer.

Although your use of imagery was wonderful, you have the potential to expand this even more! Make one line for each animal, seeing as this one simple line is quite boring!
Now, if I were being super picky, you could match the last line with the title of this poem. That then will sum this poem up quickly.

I absolutely adore the mood of this poem. It's nice and constant, and sets the theme perfectly. Even though it's short the quality is high. Overall, though, I enjoyed this poem! I tried to dissect this quite thoroughly, but let me know if anything doesn't make sense. Feel free to ask me any questions.