Hello~ Here for a review!
Despite knowing the blatant irony of the Victorian clothing references at the beginning and end I find myself falling in love with the imagery. You have a way with words that I can't quite describe, but unfortunately, this is a review and I must try my best
"you could teach me the art of just barely-
brushing fingertips-"
This line is probably my favourite. The alliteration of barely and brushing add physicality to the poem and that physicality reflects the subject matter. But then the imagery not quite as concrete. Brushing fingertips being slightly more abstract.
"a thing controlled only by hormone"
Nitpicking: but you forgot an 's' at the end of hormones.
"So I'll compress my hurt
into a lead ball to sit comfortably
between my ribs"
Nope nevermind, this is my favourite. You've done really well with making the lead imagery tangible.
This line:
but I don't love
like I have time
as well as this line:
I love like I will loose him tomorrow
Anchor the previous physicality to an emotion and it's also about here where I've basically sold my soul to this poem XD
(another nitpick: is loose meant to be lose? or did you mean turn him loose/free him?"
Overall this is a wonderful poem and super enjoyable to read. keep writing!
Points: 10
Reviews: 6
Donate