Memories

Hi there! MJ stopping by for another review

Like other reviewers, I get the impression that English isn't your native language. If it isn't, that's fine, and I really admire you for not only learning it, but also writing in it. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for someone to write in a second or third language, since it is difficult for me to write in my native language. Naturaly, there are certain difficulties that accompany rwiting in another language.

Like Kays, I would suggest that you use some sort of grammar checker. It was rampant throughout this short story, which is, again, totally understandable and fine, but it's something you should be aware of. Possibly using google or some other online dictionary/thesaurus would help you communicate your point better. Remember that every sentence needs a subject and a verb, and if you can get the basic structure of your language down, the other finer points will come next.

Unlike some other reviewers, I could understand what you were trying to say and express, which is the first step of writing. It was definitely a really sweet story, but you were a little all-over-the-place. As such, I would categorize this as 'other' since it's more about your personal life than a story or an essay.

But overall, you have a beautiful idea here. I see some elements of childhood memories, reflections, and how growing up can be hard. There are some spots here where you could clean it up, and as always, if you have any questions or need help navigating the sites, you can message me or someone else with a name in light green, dark green, or red, and they'd be happy to help you! Have a wonderful day!

Best wishes,
MJ

Hi there Taslimalima. This is Kays here delving in for a review on the last day of September which is also the last day of RevMo which is also the last day of Review Week and because I woke up late, I'm not hesitating to delve right in.

I have to say that I'm a little confused with the outcome of this essay. I'm going to assume that 'butterfly moments' are meant to suggest that those moments are happy although that's kind of my emotion towards the whole essay--I'm guessing the themes and intended interpretation because the grammar hinders this from being stronger and to be honest, that's probably the biggest flaw here? I say that the grammar is the biggest flaw here because, while this doesn't happen all that often, the grammar hinders the reader's experience and understanding of the work and for that I suggest practicing there more often.

I'm not saying this to be rude of course and I realize that English may not be your first language but rather I wanted to point this out. I want to suggest using a grammar checker if this is the case and even if this isn't the case and if English is your first language you can use a grammar checker to help in your proofreading but try to remember that grammar checkers can't catch every single mistake and you, if you learn grammar rules and are able to get those down are more likely to catch mistakes than a grammar checker because the human brain can see and know more than a machine in that case.

I didn't understand the hashtag at the end of '#Taslimalima' and overall the audience has a hard time understanding the piece at this point and therefore cannot judge the piece correctly much farther than that because the audience doesn't know what the piece wanted to say. Kyllorac says most of this in better words but I wanted to elaborate at parts since I had my own views.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.

Hello there, Taslimalima! I'm here as a bold Knight of the Green Room to review you for RevMo.

With that said, first impressions first, the image at the start of this essay struck me as a bit overly large. On my screen, it takes up more vertical space than the actual text, and so the image is rather visually overpowering. I would recommend either resizing the image so it's a bit smaller and more proportionate to the length of the text, or else expanding a bit more within your text to give your writing a bit more proportional visual weight.

You definitely have plenty of room to expand upon the writing half, in this, so either option would work, although resizing the picture would be a lot easier.

I also noticed that the picture sits on the same line as the first sentence. Having the first sentence start on its own line will make it easier to start reading because, at the moment, the start of the first sentence bleeds into the image, and it took me a moment to find it so I could start reading.

Before I comment on grammar and sentence structure, I have a question for you: is English your native language? Because I get a feeling that it isn't.