Hey! Chits here for review.
Firstly, it's a really good start. For a beginner, it's appreciable.
Your poem is about the children playing outside, whom you can see from the window. It's a good subject and a very natural one. You have tried to simplify your words. While reading it, I can really feel the happiness on the faces of small children. It's a very simple and cheerful one.
Now, coming to the improvement part, it seems that you have simply put the words without much thinking. There is lack of variety of words, I mean that there's a lot of repetition. Also there's no rhyming scheme. You should try to do some rhyming. Even if it is not so easy but it's not that difficult as well.
Overall, the first attempt is good. By practicing more, you can have perfection.
Good luck! Keep writing.
Points: 48
Reviews: 34
Donate