Sheyren's Review
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Hey there! Shey here to review!
Overall, this was a unique poem. Most poetry tells a story through first person, a person directly involved with the story, but this poem has a strange third person perspective. I say strange, but not in a negative way. It was just a different style then I'm used to. However, I enjoyed and think I could get used to it.
I was a bit confused on exactly what was going on this poem. Maybe there is context, like other poem's or stories, that I haven't read. I do see a few more poem's on the sidebar that I haven't checked out, and perhaps those will help give more information.
One thing I didn't like about this third person perspective was your open acknowledgement of the scenes being scenes. (When a narrator acknowledges they are being presented to an audience as a piece of literature or film, it's called breaking the fourth wall. I apologize if you already knew that, I just wanted to make sure.) Breaking the fourth wall in literature, while it's done, is rarely done in poetry. It's just an abnormal thing to do. However, the perspective of this poem shows you aren't afraid of breaking conventional poetry concepts, which I always think is awesome.
Overall, wonderful poem! I look forward to seeing more, so keep up the great work!
-Shey
I was a bit confused on exactly what was going on this poem. Maybe there is context, like other poem's or stories, that I haven't read. I do see a few more poem's on the sidebar that I haven't checked out, and perhaps those will help give more information.
One thing I didn't like about this third person perspective was your open acknowledgement of the scenes being scenes. (When a narrator acknowledges they are being presented to an audience as a piece of literature or film, it's called breaking the fourth wall. I apologize if you already knew that, I just wanted to make sure.) Breaking the fourth wall in literature, while it's done, is rarely done in poetry. It's just an abnormal thing to do. However, the perspective of this poem shows you aren't afraid of breaking conventional poetry concepts, which I always think is awesome.
Overall, wonderful poem! I look forward to seeing more, so keep up the great work!
-Shey
I would agree about the context. It's an easy hole to fall into with this project, as I'm writing based on my past, and naturally already know the entire context behind it. Obviously, I need to make that a bit clearer.
I'll try messing around with the wording to fix it.
Points: 1983
Reviews: 176
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