z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Arguments and Misplaced Distrust

by acm


Samantha                                                                                                                                        Peter

I thought I was sure about everything

But you didn't know what the future would bring.

I let every moment pass like it would be a forever,
Like it didn't know it might end in pain,

Sam, you're just holding onto our cracks in vain.

I'm a perfectionist, but there are some things I can't control

You can't control me, Sam
I have my own choice.
I have my own voice.

I know your voice,
How it spoke lies to me

They're not lies just because you don't agree.

You said you loved me.

I love the you that accepts
The you that will cherish my faults--
The you that will let me make mistakes.

The room each mistake takes--
It leaves a hole through my heart.
It tears me apart.

I never will promise to be perfect.
I can't promise that everything I do will be correct.

Mistakes are just imperfection left unchecked.

If you can forgive me...

It will happen again.

If you would just see...

It will happen again if you cannot learn,
You cannot let your faults return.

Living in the past isn't living.

You've become reckless.

You've become unforgiving.
I cannot be perfect like you,
Don't deny it, because you know it too.
You simply cannot compromise
I cannot hide in your flawless disguise.

If none can back down, then we both agree.

It's time for you to let go.

It's time for you to be free.

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User avatar
54 Reviews

Points: 485
Reviews: 54

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Tue May 31, 2016 10:51 am
Desdemona wrote a review...



Hi there :) Desdemona here to drop a review!

What a lovely poem! I must say I've never encountered this particular genre (not genera) of poetry, but I really like it. This is beautiful. It rhymes. It is an argument between a couple (I assume) which rhymes perfectly without making the reader feel like the word choices were forced for rhymes. A very good job indeed. I always had a weakness for sad breakup thingies, and your poetry just caught my heart with it :) I'll keep checking on you for your poetry, you truly have a knack for it. PM me with any questions you might have, I'm always glad to help.

Good jon, and keep writing
Love, Des.




acm says...


Thank you for the review!



User avatar
95 Reviews

Points: 4906
Reviews: 95

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Tue May 31, 2016 3:38 am
Gymnast2801 wrote a review...



Hello acm! It's Gymnast2801 here with a review!
I must admit that I have never reviewed anything like this so this will be a learning experience for me. Please correct me if I point out something that is correct so that I can learn what is right and wrong. I will give my overall thought of this poem after I correct/edit.
So let's get started!


Umm, okay. As far as I go with reviewing poems, I didn't really see anything wrong with your work. All spelling was correct, punctuation....not my specialty in poems. Someone actually got mad at me for saying something wrong about a poem that wasn't even theirs but hey, I was wrong after all so I guess I have nothing to fret about.
I think you work choice is great, nothing too uncommon that the average reader would have to look up but then again, nothing too plain and boring.

I really enjoyed this poem! Keep on writing!




acm says...


Thank you for the review! I will!




"Yesterday you said tomorrow, so JUST DO IT."
— Shia Labeouf