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Traveller of Olde: Tera's Hero - Prologue

by Payne


During the spring of 1345, Tera was in her prime. Warring between the western territories of Sian and Peladus had at last quieted, and abundant rainfall across the land meant plentiful crops. After years of merciless conflict, contentment spread like fine moss. Many said that the roads had never been safer to travel. Civilization began to rebuild.

To the northeast, the Ungoverned Lands took up a wide portion of the Southern Continent, and was so named because it lacked a single ruling power; each town, hamlet, and tribe lived by its own set of laws and customs.

These lands were once made up of dense forest, but were populated long ago by people seeking escape from their governments. There remained a great deal of forested wilderness, with small civilizations nestled in seclusion.

In the very northeastern corner of the Lands, there was a village called Emerald’s Peak. Few had ever heard of it, and it was not marked on most maps. The villagers lived discreet lives and rarely ventured away from home, preferring to stay within their realm of safety and peace.

It was also home to strange creatures, some said to have been the offspring of miraculous beasts that had roamed the world when Humans were very few. They lived calmly with the villagers, and most of them could communicate freely.

Overall, a quiet little place; nothing ever happened to upset the routine of the villagers. The years had passed without incident.

Living there was fifteen-year-old Angelique Sommer, a girl with no knowledge of her lineage. Her adopted family was comprised of Shalla and Joseph Sommer, and their four-year-old son, Arrow.

She had always longed for adventure; now, she and two of her childhood friends will embark on a seemingly straightforward journey.

The lives of others will also become entwined with this quest: two argumentative siblings, a lonesome outcast, a gentleman thief, an imprisoned Elf, and a young soldier who deserts his corrupt superiors.

However, this simple hunt for a runaway will soon change the young world of Tera—for better or worse...


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Fri Jun 18, 2021 10:42 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well, this is an interesting little world that you've got here...and this kind of doesn't quite read like a prologue, the first half is more prologuey but doesn't quite have too much going on and the second bit is very much like a blurb...so...yeah more details on all that down below.

Anyway let's get right to it,

During the spring of 1345, Tera was in her prime. Warring between the western territories of Sian and Peladus had at last quieted, and abundant rainfall across the land meant plentiful crops. After years of merciless conflict, contentment spread like fine moss. Many said that the roads had never been safer to travel. Civilization began to rebuild.


Ooh, interesting start to a prologue, with things starting to actually get better for a place, usually the prologues start out with something going horribly wrong for a place...but well..this is certainly a change from that, aaand I do like this idea as well...soo let's see where this is headed I suppose.

To the northeast, the Ungoverned Lands took up a wide portion of the Southern Continent, and was so named because it lacked a single ruling power; each town, hamlet, and tribe lived by its own set of laws and customs.


Oh well, that is how it used to be wayy back in the day I suppose but certainly very interesting to have in a world. And this is not the catchiest of names to give a place but it certainly does get the point across very clearly as to what these lands are. Now whether this being a large portion is important or not, I assume we find out later.

These lands were once made up of dense forest, but were populated long ago by people seeking escape from their governments. There remained a great deal of forested wilderness, with small civilizations nestled in seclusion.


Hmm, well this is certainly an interesting detail, talking off how these lands and small settlements formed. Certainly not a bad thing to have in a prologue here...I do always love seeing snippets of worldbuilding like this, as long as they don't obstruct the flow of a story, they really do add a lot to making a story interesting to follow.

In the very northeastern corner of the Lands, there was a village called Emerald’s Peak. Few had ever heard of it, and it was not marked on most maps. The villagers lived discreet lives and rarely ventured away from home, preferring to stay within their realm of safety and peace.


Hmm, well, looks like a pretty quiet and tucked away village there...creating an interesting setting at any rate with the way that this particular description unfolded there...I am wondering exactly this is going at the moment, cause we've so far only been told about random places, and hasn't gotten to anything particularly plot related I feel...but uhh, hopefully we get into some of that soon.

It was also home to strange creatures, some said to have been the offspring of miraculous beasts that had roamed the world when Humans were very few. They lived calmly with the villagers, and most of them could communicate freely.


More interesting details at any rate, there's certainly a lot of fun stuff being included there, and mystical beasts are always a fun addition to stories, especially when they coexist peacefully like this without their being any unnecessary wars and things going on.

Overall, a quiet little place; nothing ever happened to upset the routine of the villagers. The years had passed without incident.


Well I'm sure this story will do its best to disturb said peace, or at least that's how these sorts of stories usually go, especially if so much time is being given to introducing this peaceful place.

Living there was fifteen-year-old Angelique Sommer, a girl with no knowledge of her lineage. Her adopted family was comprised of Shalla and Joseph Sommer, and their four-year-old son, Arrow.

She had always longed for adventure; now, she and two of her childhood friends will embark on a seemingly straightforward journey.


Okay, now this is starting to read like a bit of a synopsis there with that, but on the bright side, we finally have a sense of something starting to happen besides things just being descriptions of places.

The lives of others will also become entwined with this quest: two argumentative siblings, a lonesome outcast, a gentleman thief, an imprisoned Elf, and a young soldier who deserts his corrupt superiors.

However, this simple hunt for a runaway will soon change the young world of Tera—for better or worse...


Hmm, well this last part would make a killer blurb, perhaps with a few bits of that description up front....this certainly has that catchy quality that you expect from something like that, although uhh...not entirely sure if this quite manages to do the job of a prologue...this one.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, this one has itself a couple of issues here and there as a prologue, but the idea in there certainly seems like it could make for a pretty cool story, one that I would certainly read at any rate. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:16 am
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Chaser wrote a review...



I've never liked prologues, especially informative ones. But for some reason, I find myself enjoying this.

It feels like a bit like a clever satire, as though the legend were being narrated in humorous retrospect, which I'm going to assume is your goal. The "fine moss" simile made me crack a smile, for certain.

It's nice that the prologue isn't drawn out; after all, if it were, chapter one might never see the light of day. The idea of the Ungoverned Lands is truly fascinating. I've always wondered how successful anarchy would function. And it seems to set up an interesting prospect for the plot and characters. It's almost like a literary "silhouette." What I'm saying is that it's cool.

The descriptive style sets up a serene tone, without being too forceful in its delivery. You don't use a higher vocabulary than necessary, and that archaic simplicity works well here.

In essence, this is a fine beginning. It's short, gripping, and gets the reader engaged without bogging them down in too much plot or detail to handle at once. It's a quite creative satire.
Unless, of course, I've perceived it all completely wrong and this is super-serious. Either way, I enjoyed it. Cheers.


-Chaser




Payne says...


Thank you so much for the feedback! I really appreciate it. Actually you hit the nail right on the head. This story is definitely going to be based in a heavy dose of satire, if I can manage it. I'm glad to hear that this wasn't too drawn out or boring. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)



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Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:42 am
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TheSilverFox wrote a review...



Nice to meet you, Payne; I'll be reviewing your work today. :D

Well, this is one impressive prologue. I like it! It's concise, to the point, and does an excellent job of establishing the background and characters in the story. The land sounds fascinating, particularly with these numerous mysterious and unique places that are scattered across the landscape. The creatures and beasts said to be roaming the landscape are my favorite part, especially as I know that they will undoubtedly make an appearance in the story, and I'm curious to learn more about these creatures that seem to predate human beings in the history of the relatively new world. In all, you've done well, building up the setting in your story the way you have. The wide variety of places are interesting, and the peaceful tone of the opening of this prologue is a nice touch, not to mention the MC and the many people she'll meet in the midst of her journey. I'm curious to see how Angelique's adventure will influence the land of Tera, and how she'll learn of her lineage and nature.

In all, I loved this prologue. It's creative, thoughtful, and impressive. Although brief, it does a nice job covering many of the major aspects in the story, and leaves the reader eager and curious to read more. While I would like to state that Tera isn't exactly the most original name (as I have read other stories with such a name, or any variation of Terra, which is simply another word for Earth), I felt that this prologue was fantastic, and did its job well. I enjoyed reading this from start to finish, and I look forward to more. Great job!




Payne says...


Thank you so much for the feedback!! I really appreciate it.



Payne says...


Thank you so much for the feedback!! I really appreciate it.




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