Young Writers Society

I'm not going to focus on grammar, despite my OCD itching to. Instead I'm going to talk about the idea and effect this has.

I feel that this is more of a blog post than an actual essay. You use very informal language and carry on in your article with a wandering direction, hence why this is a rant. I understand your loathing of comforting words and the little promise that they carry but I disagree with your stance that they are useless. This is not because I'm some silly idealist that believes in fairy tales, but because I tend to take a more psychological standpoint on these sorts of things. "Everything will be alright" is not said as a false promise, but as a way to comfort and ground whoever they are talking to. I can continue with some random facts about human interaction, but I'm going to cut my own opinion short.

This could have been stronger if you had named a concrete example, and without proper structure and a definite direction, this piece feels empty to me. It sounds like you are complaining and vainly attacking people who have tried to help you in the past. If you ever write an essay, avoid letting your emotions control your words. It often leads to a rag-tag article with a narrow idea and a sagging resolution. Where you say "tell me these four vile words I will lose my faith in you I swear", your wording is very childish. Strong diction is great but these in particular sound immature and nagging.

The concept of this article has potential and you just need to act on it. Near the end I feel that you became stronger, but unfortunately you didn't fill out your ideas and left them as hanging sentences. You shedded your ranting tone and opted for a more sophisticated one, pondering upon the fallacy of comfort. You still need to solidify your ideas, however. If you ever want to improve upon this, don't shy away from PMing me for help. I'll be glad to assist you.

~Craz

Okay, I'm going to be honest here; I had no idea what you are talking about. I'm sorry, but it may just be a little too advanced for me; I am only 13 so that may be the reason. Anyways; ignoring the fact that I didn't understand most of it I would like to correct you on some stuff that I do understand. First; capitalize every time you start something new such as a new paragraph or sentence. I saw that you wrote this at 3:00 am so I understand that you were tired and I won't be to hard on you about the capitalization. I did like your use of words though. They were not too advanced for me or too basic. The choice of words you used made you sound official if you know what I mean. Sorry, but that is all the advice for this that I can give you because I didn't understand it.
Happy writing!

this made me happy. very happy.
I know it may have been a very conscious choice on your part, but by not using capitalization, the rant loses power, so I would change that.
you say 'fucking shit' in the beginning. as much as I admire your conviction, you should erase the 'fucking', not because of it's 'profanity', but because using two curses in a row gets sort of confusing, in a way.
but overall, I love the deep thinking here and it really made me start to wonder about those four words, and others like it, myself.
happy writing!