Writer's Block Tango (Parody)

A/n: This is a parody of the song Cell Block Tango in a musical called Chicago. You can watch it here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrrz54UtkCc), but be warned that they aren't wearing the what people would call adequate clothing. Also, I can't write what I believe is Hungarian, so I settled for Dutch and a translation is included. Enjoy!

And now the six confused authors of YWS’s Writing Café,
In their rendition of ‘The Writer’s Block Tango’

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh huh, YWS, Lipshitz! (x3)

They had it coming, they had it coming,
They only have themselves to blame!
If you had tried it, if you had written it,
I betcha you would’ve done the same

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh huh, YWS, Lipshitz! (x2)

You know how people have these little habits
and go and do their own thing? Like Kayla!
Kayla kept jumping around. No, not jumping, Pop!

So I was writing this one day
And everything’s going well
and the characters are being obedient,
and then there’s Kayla
riding a dragon in the middle of a romance and, jumping,
No, not jumpin’, poppin’!
So, I said to her, I said,
“You better listen to what I say instead of jumpin’ around.” and she did

So I told Kayla’s side character to pick up the shotgun
and fire two warning shots into her head.

They had it coming, they had it coming,
They only have themselves to blame!
If you had tried it, if you had written it,
I betcha you would’ve done the same

I created a Mary Jane in my Nano novel about two years ago,
she told me she was unique, and I loved her right away
So, I started writing about her.

She’d talk to characters, ride out plot twists, sit down, and we’d talk.
Then I found out, not a curse word in sight, she’d told me,
not a curse word at all!

Not only was she swearing through my book, but with guys!
One of those players, you know.
So that night, when she started to talk,
I deleted all her words and made her mute,
You know some characters just can’t hold their dialogue.

They had it coming, they had it coming
They took an author out of line
And then they used us and they abused us!
It was cruel, but not a crime!

Now, I’m simply writing my novel
Carvin’ up a storm of war for drama
minding my own business
in storms my co-writer Markus in an angry rage
“You been changing the plotline!”
He says.

He was crazy, and he kept on shouting
“You been changing the plotline!”
And then I put the novel through the shredder
I put it through ten times.

If you had tried it, if you had written it,
I betcha you would’ve done the same

Een keer wil it de Nano proberen. Alleen een keer. En wanneer het was November, ik begon met het. Ik schrijf de hele dag, elke nacht, ik schrijf zo veel dat it kan. Maar Uncle Sam op de laaste dag, kruipt in my kamer en verwijderd de hele boek.

*Translation: I wanted to try Nano one time. Just once. When it was November, I began it. I wrote the whole day, every night, and wrote as much as I could. But Uncle Sam crept into my room on the last day and deleted the whole book.*

But yeah, did you finish it?
Uh-huh, com-plete!
*whisper* They had it coming
They had it coming

My YWS friends, sister and I had this great storybook
And every now and again some would hop in and join us
with character profiles under our belt
We wrote 20 scenes in a row.

One, two, three, four, five, scenery, plot twists,
character development, death, one right after the other
Well, this one night before I posted
We were down at the chatroom café

The three of us, planning and havin’ a few laughs as we ran out of muse
So I went to get some.

I come back from forums and
there’s my two partners in crime
Doing a runner, changing storybooks!

I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out,
I can’t remember a thing, it wasn’t until later
when they had stopped responding to me
That I even knew I’d kicked them out!

They had it coming, they had it coming,
They had it coming all along.
I might’ve done it, but if I didn’t
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

They had it coming, they had it coming (x2)

I loved my plot idea more than I could possibly say, it was confusing, but simple, interesting.
But it was always twisting out of my reach
trying to write itself like it didn’t need my help.
But I was the author! The plot ran away
and on the way it found romance, magic, clichés and plot holes.

I guess you could say I dropped it because of artistic differences,
It saw itself as alive, and I saw it dead.

The dirty words, words, words, words, words!
The dirty words, words, words, words, words!

They had it coming! They had it coming!
The had it coming all along!
‘Cause if they used us, and they abused us,
How could you tell us that we were wrong!

They had it comin', they had it comin'
They had it comin' all along
'Cause if they used us and they abused us
How could they tell us that we were wrong?

They had it coming, they had it coming,
They only have themselves to blame!
If you had tried it, if you had written it,
I betcha you would’ve done the same

You jump around one more time
Not a curse words in sight
Ten times
Een keer wil ik de Nano proberen. Alleen een keer.
Doing a runner, changing storybooks
Artistic differences.
I betcha you would have done the same

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh h uh, YWS, Lipshutzs!