Young Writers Society

I like it. Good poem.

there is nothing really left to touch on your previous reviews have gone through all the little details to work on.
As for my opinion, I really enjoy the message and feeling your reaching for. I think that emotion is all here even though your wording could be a bit more expressive.
Great job! Keep being awesome, I'll be sure to read more of your work whenever they appear!

It's nice, touching but try and be more expressive

First of all, I am really sorry about your father.
Now, your poetry is just too heart - warming. I seriously had tears in my eyes when I finished reading the entire poem. If we were to ignore the short forms of the words and the little grammatical errors, you poem is impeccably perfect and it touches my heart to the core.

"An Assassin can also be Named as Cancer"
This is so true...I had lost my grandmother to Cancer and the wound is still fresh.

But your poem is just too good. All I would like to say is please keep on writing! You write just too well!!
Stay blessed!

The meaning behind the poem was very heart warming. However, I see some things that could probably be changed for the best but it's entirely up to you.

"I am going to tell u about my dream,
It was my age of yelling for ice-cream,
People around me like me very much too,
But theres no person in world such like you."
1) I would change "u" to "you" because that's something you would text to a friends in my opinion. 2) "theres" should be changed to "there's" and 3) I think there should be a "the" before the word "world" it'll make the sentence make more sense to the reader.

"It is my Pupz who loves me the most,
He is not somewhere around, he has lost,
"Do You Know what Happened to Him,Sir?"
An Assasin can also be Named as Cancer."
1) I would change "loves" to "loved" because the rest of the poem is in past tense. 2) This is just my religion talking but usually his is only capitalized if speaking about God himself, so that part confused me but like I said it's your poem.

"Some Says its my destiny or I'm Unfortunate,
"U know Sir ,now I even dont trust my fate,"
I say myself its never too late,
Pupz,for you , yourr son is always going to wait."
1) In the first like "its" should be changed to "it's" simple mistake there. 2) This is just a question but why do you capitalize unfortunate? 3) The comma after sir should be moved to behind sir, not on top of now. Another simple mistakes, I know I do it a lot. 4) "dont" should be changed to "don't" but I would change that whole second line to "You know sir, now I don't even trust my fate." Looking at it now you have a lot of things capitalized that don't exactly need to be capitalized. 5) You should delete one of the r's on your in the fourth line.

I might not understand losing my father to cancer but I understand losing my grandfather about seven years ago. He's in a better place and not suffering. This poem was very good, it a place in my heart because like I said I lost my pawpaw, he was the biggest man in my life. Keep your head held high, I'm sure it's what your dad would want. Welcome to YWS! I hope I didn't offend you with this review, just trying to help the best I can!

It is clearly evident that you loved your dad dearly. I am sorry that he was taken from you in such a sad way. I have on critique though; in your last line you have one too many "r"s one your. Other than that I enjoyed your poem and I hope you enjoy YWS.