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Perceptions

by avinash


I’ve been recording videos for a long time now. I actually find it interesting, a great time pass, and you know, a lot motivating. All it needs is camera in your hand and someone in front of you to narrate something. I usually shot videos of people narrating their experiences, and upload them on the internet.

It will sound a lot more interesting when I say that some creatures don’t need to narrate, the just show.

Of course I’m talking about the animals; let me tell you, they are really very interesting when you shoot them. I would like to share this five minute incident with you, which actually changed my perception about, the perception if the things are ‘right or wrong’. It sounds tricky, but I’m sure you will understand it while reading this incident.

I was having my camera hanging off my neck, and went to the terrace of my house, sat there to acknowledge the beauty of the people, plants, birds, and all the creatures and things you can find in a park… Actually my house is situated rite in front of a park, a beautiful one.

Just when I was feeling how beautiful the world is I found people running away, what’s happening?!

I realized that ‘a rat’ and ‘an eagle’ got into fight. Now that’s interesting. So I started shooting the whole scene. I realized that the eagle was trying to catch the rat and the rat was actually dodging itself.

All this want like this:

The eagle got high up and suddenly brought itself down as if the force of gravity has suddenly acted upon it… It rushed down with a swift to catch hold of the rat, but it dodged in jiffy so the eagle claws tore off the grass on the ground. It again went upwards shot itself down with a swift and the same reaction took place as if I was watching a replay.

I again, realized that now the eagle was making noises and was very desperate to catch the rat, and the rat was actually having fun humiliating the king of the sky. After 3 minutes or so, the eagle was as desperate as ever but its speed eventually decreased as it was gradually getting tiered. That’s when I saw a cat, came in the picture, it pounced, and at the same time, the eagle was a shoot, and eventually both were on their way to catch hold of the rat… But cat got the better of the eagle and with a single paw strike tore the rat apart.

I know, that’s a sad ending for the rat but you will be surprised to know that:

When I was proofing the video to upload it I realized that, the cat was in the picture from the starting of the video, just seeking for the moment of attack, the eagle realized it and was actually trying to help the rat.

Unfortunately the rat didn’t realize it and actually made the wrong perception. And you know what happened after that, the rat met the fate from which it was percepting to dodge itself.

So take decisions and make perceptions wisely.


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Sun May 09, 2021 7:26 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well this was a fun little story to read. I love the idea behind it and I love the way that little moral is slipped in there. It was just all round a nice little story to start the day off with and that's all you can ask for.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I’ve been recording videos for a long time now. I actually find it interesting, a great time pass, and you know, a lot motivating. All it needs is camera in your hand and someone in front of you to narrate something. I usually shot videos of people narrating their experiences, and upload them on the internet.


Okay...pretty normal little start there to that story...seems like a decent thing to do...and making videos like that does seem it would be pretty interesting to do...you can probably learn a lot from there.

It will sound a lot more interesting when I say that some creatures don’t need to narrate, the just show.

Of course I’m talking about the animals; let me tell you, they are really very interesting when you shoot them. I would like to share this five minute incident with you, which actually changed my perception about, the perception if the things are ‘right or wrong’. It sounds tricky, but I’m sure you will understand it while reading this incident.


Hmmm...filming animals definitely seems like it would be a really interesting process...well..can't wait to see what this little incident might be about cause I know for certain this is going to be suuper interesting if most animals videos are anything to judge by.

I was having my camera hanging off my neck, and went to the terrace of my house, sat there to acknowledge the beauty of the people, plants, birds, and all the creatures and things you can find in a park… Actually my house is situated rite in front of a park, a beautiful one.

Just when I was feeling how beautiful the world is I found people running away, what’s happening?!

Okay...well...that's a lovely location to have in a house...also people running away from things generally tends to mean something very dangerous is happening so this is bound to be quite exciting.

I realized that ‘a rat’ and ‘an eagle’ got into fight. Now that’s interesting. So I started shooting the whole scene. I realized that the eagle was trying to catch the rat and the rat was actually dodging itself.


Ohh..well that's not too dangerous...but it does seem like it would be a suuper interesting scene to film, that much is quite certain there...well...let's see how this ends.

All this want like this:

The eagle got high up and suddenly brought itself down as if the force of gravity has suddenly acted upon it… It rushed down with a swift to catch hold of the rat, but it dodged in jiffy so the eagle claws tore off the grass on the ground. It again went upwards shot itself down with a swift and the same reaction took place as if I was watching a replay.


Okay...this little eagle vs rat fight scene is off to a beautiful start here...loving the way this is headed so far...

I again, realized that now the eagle was making noises and was very desperate to catch the rat, and the rat was actually having fun humiliating the king of the sky. After 3 minutes or so, the eagle was as desperate as ever but its speed eventually decreased as it was gradually getting tiered. That’s when I saw a cat, came in the picture, it pounced, and at the same time, the eagle was a shoot, and eventually both were on their way to catch hold of the rat… But cat got the better of the eagle and with a single paw strike tore the rat apart.


Well ouch...RIP Mr. Rat..aaand that ended about as well as I thought it would although the cat was definitely a bit of a wild card there...did not see that coming into the picture at all...but hey...'twas definitely a rather neat little surprise there....aaand I liked it.

I know, that’s a sad ending for the rat but you will be surprised to know that:

When I was proofing the video to upload it I realized that, the cat was in the picture from the starting of the video, just seeking for the moment of attack, the eagle realized it and was actually trying to help the rat.

Unfortunately the rat didn’t realize it and actually made the wrong perception. And you know what happened after that, the rat met the fate from which it was percepting to dodge itself.

So take decisions and make perceptions wisely.


Well..that is indeed a lovely bit of advice that you've got there...I really love the irony there of the rat's actions..and I think it makes for a great little moral to slip in there not to mention a really fun bit there with all the animals....well...this was a really nice little story to start the day on.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall...this was a really fun read here. Its got a nice little moral there too and yeah...I really don't have much else to say here. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:10 am
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Panikos wrote a review...



Yo, avinash. Welcome to YWS! I'm Pan, and I'll be delighted to boil up a review for your first piece of work.

We'll start with the positives, shall we? I can really see where you're going with this piece, and what you're trying to say. It starts well, and many of the problems with the writing lie solely in phrasing, grammar and spelling, rather than the idea itself. That's good. It means that you can easily work with it.

Okay, now for nitpicks.

I actually find it interesting, a great time pass, and you know, a lot motivating. All it needs is camera in your hand and someone in front of you to narrate something. I usually shot videos of people narrating their experiences, and upload them on the internet.


Couple of problems here. Rather than 'time pass', I think you mean 'pastime', and there should be an 'a' before 'camera'. Also, 'a lot motivating' sounds awkward; 'really motivating' would be better, and, seeing as you're writing in present tense here, it should be 'shoot' rather than 'shot'.

Put simply, it might be better written in a way something like this:

I actually find it interesting; it's a great pastime. Really motivating, you know? All it needs is a camera in your hand and someone in front of you to narrate something. I usually shoot videos of people's experiences and upload them to the internet.


You get what I mean? It flows a bit more. You have to be careful with first person perspective, because it can be hard to make the narration sound spoken whilst also keeping it smooth. Reading your work aloud really helps with this.

the just show.


'They'.

which actually changed my perception about, the perception if the things are ‘right or wrong’.


This is a bit of an awkward sentence, one that you should consider rewording. You might be better off saying: 'which actually changed my perception of right and wrong'.

I was having my camera hanging off my neck


Hmm? Read that aloud. Does it sound like something you would say? No, we'd be more likely to say 'my camera hung from my neck', or something like that. Again, consider doing some rewording.

Actually my house is situated rite in front of a park


It should be 'right'. Also, consider sticking a comma after 'actually'.

Just when I was feeling how beautiful the world is I found people running away, what’s happening?!


Not sure about this bit; it's sort of rushed and unclear. Always take a metaphorical step back and think fully about the words before you move onto your next sentence. Read it in your head, then read it aloud. Does it flow? In the case of this sentence, your punctuation and phrasing is off; rewording is needed. Also, rather than having a comma before 'what's happening?', you should have a full stop.

(I suggest that you read this thread. In fact, it would probably be good for you to read through several of the threads in the Grammar & Research section of the Knowledge Base. I found them incredibly useful.)

I realized that ‘a rat’ and ‘an eagle’ got into fight


Why are there quotation marks here? As far as I can tell, they don't belong there.

the rat was actually dodging itself.


The rat was dodging itself? Sounds a bit impossible to me. I'd delete that last word.

suddenly brought itself down


Unnecessary words! Say 'suddenly dived' instead; it's more concise and creates the same image in the reader's mind.

It rushed down with a swift


Hmm...I'm guessing here that what you meant to say was 'it rushed down swiftly'. Swiftly = at great speed. A swift = a cute little bird.

Okay, that's all I have to say. The good news is that these are all minor issues, easily rectified by proof reading; the bad news is that there are a lot of them. Get in the habit of looking through your work multiple times after writing it, with sizable intervals between each reading. It'll allow you to comb out typos and punctuation problems, as well as alerting you to any bits that are weirdly phrased or ordered. Editing, as boring as it is, is a very essential part of writing (I must spend as much time altering my work as I do typing it up) so you're going to have to get into the groove of doing it.

Hope I helped! :D PM me if you have any questions.

Keep writing!
~Pan



Random avatar
avinash says...


thank you.
i will make sure that i will try not to repeat it again



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Sat Oct 11, 2014 8:39 am
Ishan212 wrote a review...



I am Ishan and I am here to review your work. Here we go;

First of all, here at YWS we are very particular about English. Example; we don't use 'u' for 'you'. As you are a new member, it was my duty to tell you this. Now let's review your short story.
You chose a very good title'Perceptions'. The theme of your story was also very nice You also chose a beautiful background.Your story was about an eagle fighting a rat and your shooting the fight. Suddenly when the eagle got tired a cat pounced on the mouse and ate it up.Afterwards, when you saw your shooting, you realized that the eagle was actually trying to save the mouse. But the mouse failed to recognize it(the eagle) as his friend and finally died. This would have been a fantastic story if you would have given more details about the eagle and the mouse. And one more thing. In the sentence
'All this want like this:'
'want' should be replaced by 'was'.
Then the sentence will become;
'All this was like this:'
Anyway nice story.
Keep Writing!!!!!!



Random avatar
avinash says...


thank you ishan i will try not to commit my mistakes again




I want to understand you, I study your obscure language.
— Alexander Pushkin