Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
Have you ever think of the noise you hear in complete silence?
When you're about to sleep, Do you hear those whispering sounds in the corner of your room? Or near to your ear?
When you listen to loud rock music do you ever wonder what's behind of those screaming noise?
Did you ever think that when you knew what's behind every each noise, Do you think that you might have ACOUSTICOPHOBIA ??
-----
"Our topic for today is ACOUSTICOPHOBIA, Can someone please tell me what does acousticophobia means?" Professor Strand said
*Someone raises his hand*
"Ah' you there! Go ahead" Professor strand said
"Acousticophobia is a fear of noise"
"Well, said Uhmm.. what's your name again?" Professor strand said
"Jack, sir.."
"Okay, very good, Jack. Now people have these experiences, because it's either they realized something behind the noise or just got irritated at the sound. It depends on what they do and on what they encounter, but having this Phobia can not only leads you to a mental institute, but can also leads you to your own suicidal death." Professor strand said
*someone raises his hand and Professor Strand just pointed at him*
"What do you mean by suicidal death?"
"Good Question. ERICK . The reason why this also leads to suicidal death is because you can't really live your life without hearing anything doctors can put some non-hearing device on your head, but when the room is quite and nothing to hear you hear that strange beep in your head right? that -Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep- that's your eardrum causing. That's also considered as a noise and that often happen to us people, So if you have acousticophobia. You might not even stand that beeping noise ."
*Riiiiinnnnggg*
"Welp, Make sure you study today's topic !!" Professor Strand said
****
"Hey" Erick said leaning against Jack.
"Hey" Jack replied
"You like phobias?"
"Yeah, It's really interesting, besides I'm learning psychology"
"Oh so you wanted to be a psychologist eh? well then, you got yourself a partner for cheating a test"
And they just both laugh as they went to their dorm .
"Hey what room number you got?" Jack asked
"B6, you?" Erick said
"Same."
"Oooo~ We will have a lots of fun tonight eh? x3"
"Dude, I'm NOT gay , So as you" Jack said pulling the card off on his back pocket, but it fell down .
"Oh-.." Jack reacted .
As a young girl wearing a pink dirty gown, hair is covering her face and holding a teddy bear on her hand picked his card.
"Hey little girl that's my card" Jack said as if he's her brother
As the girl looked at Jack, Jack was surprised that she looked rather pale and her gray eyes it's too . Gray for a normal eye-color .
Then the girl gave the card and ran away .
"Well, that's one hot chick" Erick said
"Pervert." Jack said while laughing
As they opened the door and went inside .
*First Night*
"Let the party begins~" Erick said while turning the rock music up and jumping on his bed while holding a bottle of beer in his hand
The room was filled with 3 girls, two girls for each other and there's a lot of beer .
"Hi ~ " A girl said to Jack
"Well, hello there, Care to play?" Jack said
As the two girls giggled Jack heard some strange noise .
Jack looked around to see what's making that noise, since he's not that drunk yet.
"I'm gonna get more beer." Jack said as he went to the small fridge and when he opens it he heard some noise again .
"Hey guys! Is there someone crying here?!" Jack asked
"Uhmm.. NO !" Erick shouted
"Okay then.." Jack said finding his precious monster energy drink .
But while finding his Monster he keeps hearing these crying sounds .
"Help me~" A voice whispered to Jack, As Jack turned around and saw a little girl crying and her head covered in blood.
Then Jack screamed and fainted .
*Next Day*
"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey~" Erick said
"Dude.. What happened?" Jack asked
"Well, Last Night we make out and had sex and you fainted when I filled you up"
"WHAT THE FUCK !?!?!" Jack shouted and stood up
"HAHAHAAHA Dude ! I'm just joking! we were making out with girls, but we didn't scored, because you scared the hell out of them"
"Scared the hell out of them?"
"You were like 'do you hear crying sounds?, do you hear crying sounds?' and then you screamed and fainted in front of the refrigerator"
"Ohh... But dude! Believe me! I heard these crying voices last night and .. "
"Annnnddd?"
"The girl!"
"You fucked her?"
"DUDE !"
"Sorry, sorry, sorry XD the girl what?"
"The little girl who picked my card is dead and covered in blood crying looking straight in my eye and wanting me to help her"
"Dude you're high as fuck! XD How many beers have you drunk last night?"
"Dude! I'm dead serious!"
"Okay, okay~ Here's the notes from today's acousticophobia lesson and do page 22 in the textbook ~ Homework~" Erick said a he handed the notes to Jack .
-----
Few hours later the two are doing their homework and Erick is doing his while listening to music .
"Give an example of myths or urban legends related to cause an Acousticophobia. Hmmm.." Erick said
"Hidden sounds in headphones or speakers" Jack said
"Thank you!~" Erick said while writing that down .
"Hmm..~ Hmmm.~ Hmm.~" Erick hummed while listening to his music .
But later on he heard these strange sounds .
"What did you say?" Erick asked
"Huh? I'm not saying anything" Jack said
"Oh, sorry~" Erick said as he get back to work
While focusing on his homework something in the music keeps bothering him.
Erick is hearing this "Pssts-sounds" In the music and he keeps turning around, but later on Jack finished his homework and went to bed.
"Pssstt!"
Then Erick turned around saw Jack in his bed .
"Geez, I better turn off the music. I can't focus anymore" Erick said
As he paused the music on his Iphone, but still wearing his headphones.
"PSSSTTT!"
and Erick ignored it thinking Jack is playing tricks on him .
As minutes passed by the 'Psstt' sounds is getting louder and louder and seems to be getting closer and closer to Erick.
"PSSTT!"
And Erick felt some chills behind him, because that 'psst' is closer to him and seems like it's been said beside his ears.
"Jack could you please! I can't focus" Erick said
"I'm not Jack.."
Then Erick go scared and turned around and saw nothing .
"Erick, I'm not behind you."
Then Erick looked back to his desk .
"Who and where the fuck are you?" Erick asked
"Psstt."
Then, he felt the whisper in his ear and he quickly smashed his headphones on the wall .
"SHUT THE FUCK UP !!!!!" Erick shouted
As Jack woke up .
"Dude what's wrong?!?!" Jack asked
And when Erick looked at him he saw a black silhouette behind him, but he could see the outline of the thing's mouth. It's smiling .
Then later on Erick fainted .
*Next day*
"Dude what happened?" Erick asked while covering his face with the blanket
"You fainted"
"Eh? Oh right, I remembered. Someone is calling me"
"Yeah."
"You know?"
"Yeah"
"Sorry dude, Now I believe you"
"Me?"
"Yeah"
"Oh are you referring to Jack?"
"Dude you are Jack"
"Oh no I'm not."
And when Erick lowered the sheets, He saw a woman covered in blood and her stomach slitted open, you could clearly see her organs and there's worm inside of her. As Erick screamed again and closed his eyes .
Then, Cold-water was poured to him.
"DUDE! WAKE UP!" Jack shouted
As Erick opened his eyes and saw Jack .
"DUDE!" Erick said as he hugged jack .
"DUDE! GAY ALERT ! GAY ALERT!" Jack shouted
As Erick laughed .
"Do you know it's 3 in the morning? - ____ - " Jack said
"It is?"
"Yes It is, now go back to sleep~"
"Wait what happened when I fainted out?"
"Dude you were asleep for two days!"
"TWO DAYS!?!?" Erick shouted
Then, Erick's computer turned on and a screech was played .
"DUDE TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" Jack shoutedAs Erick plugged out the cord and the computer shutted down
"What was that?!" Jack said
"I dunno someone might be stealing some electricity from the school" Erick said
"Stupid bastards" Jack said
"Geez, You mean stupid school for not having a low security access" Erick said
"Geez, Now go to sleep~"
Then later on they went to their beds and went to sleep, but while trying to sleep they're hearing these whispering sounds .
So Erick took his earphones and listen to loud music .
Jack's eyes are open so he could see the dark room, Jack could hear the psst-ing sounds and some whispers . While Erick here is hearing the same, but while listening to his music it's like somehow combined to it's music .
Then later on a scream was played .
"DUDE!!" Jack shouted .
"Where's that coming from?!" Erick said
The screaming kept going and going then later on Erick's ears began to bleed .
"DUDE TAKE OFF YOUR EARPHONES!" Jack shouted
Erick tried, but his earphones is stuck to his ear and now the earphones began to go inside of Erick's ear and now it's stuck on it's eardrum later on Erick can't stand the noise and get his pocket knife .
"ERICK STOP !!" Jack shouted as his ears began to bleed too .
But Erick didn't listen to him and Erick slit the pocket knife to his neck and blood was pouring and squirting out of his neck and eventually Erick died.
When Erick died the noise stopped and Jack went outside a group of friends saw him all covered in blood and crying .
"Please.. Help me ..." Jack said then later on fainted .
*****
Jack found himself in a hospital and cotton on his ears .
"Good mor--" The doctor said uncontinued when Jack started to scream .
"STOP ! STOP ! STOP ! STOP ! STOP ! STOP ! STOP ! STOP !" Jack shouted
"SOMEONE PLEASE HOLD HIM!" The doctor shouted
And a bunch of nurses went and tied him up and holding him .
"STOP ! TOO MUCH NOISE ! STOP ! LET ME GO ! LET ME GO ! STOP !! TOO MUCH NOISE !! TOO MUCH NOISE !!" Jack shouted
Then the doctor tested him and realized he have ACOUSTICOPHOBIA a fear of noise .
Jack was sent to a mental hospital a week early and some device was put in his head and now he doesn't hear anything and his eardrums is gone .
Jack felt safe and easy, but later on he hears a girl laughing and a little girl crying .
Laughing and crying at the same time Jack is going crazy .
The doctors went to his cubicle and about to shot him, but jack took the injection using his mouth and one of his straps on his hands broke and now he's free he took the injection and put it in his ears making the fluid flow in his brain, but while that's happening he still could hear the crying and laughing noise .
"TOO MUCH NOISE !!!" Jack shouted
Then he used the needle to slit his tongue in two and later on he smiled and said.
"No more noise ..."
And eventually he died .
-----
Few years later .
The professor and the school's principal knew that there's was a pregnant woman who once lived in that dorm B6 and his boyfriend was an emo who loves to hear rock music and since the woman was pregnant he can't take the music and screamed and screamed the guy thought that she was singing, but later on the girl gave birth to the girl and the girl died screaming . The guy didn't really cared about the baby and when the baby is 5 she was deaf and the guy knew it. The guy was insane and slid some earphones on the girl's ears making it stick to her ear drums and eventually the girl cried and cried until, her ears bleed and died, while the guy kept on laughing and laughing, but later on he died after drinking too much drugs and energy drink .
That room was cursed and now it's once cursed by two room-mates .
Ever since then that room was called :
THE ACOUSTICOPHOBIA ROOM .
Whenever you take foot in that room you'll have acousticophobia and eventually die.
But even if you don't go to that room. You could still encounter the acousticophobia by the strange noise you hear in your headphones/earphones and in your dark room at night . So don't be too alert about the noise around you .
It's better to ignore some noise than, being involve in it .
Now , Tell me will you still listen to the hidden noise around you ?
It is possible for someone to endure such noise?
It is possible for someone like you could encounter such terrible phobia?
- THE END -
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
I liked this story a lot, and I like your style too. I think my favorite thing about this story is that you did base it on a phobia, it still reads as a horror story but without the crazy monster hiding in the closet, it plays with your mind and really makes you think. Yea, there were grammar mistakes and such, but for me, that really didn't take away from the story. Great job
Knight Dragon, here to review!
You have a very unique style. I'm not sure if I would have blended emoticons into the actual dialogue and narrative like you did, but it does work, to a degree. Some readers might find it distracting, and I'd definitely give that some serious thought on whether to keep those or not if you decide to revise.
One thing you tend to slip up in is consistent verb tense. For example,
You switched from past to present tense with "ignored" to "is playing." That happened quite a bit throughout the story.
Occasionally, I feel like you accidentally left off a word. I.e.
With "that's your eardrum causing," you might've dropped an "it."
Quick story question to consider: What makes your story stand out? Why is this horror story different than any of the others out there? Once you figure out what its strongest defining feature is, then you can really focus on that and hone your story. It's easier to go somewhere when you know where you're going. It's easier to get there faster once you know you can get there. Basically, once you've written the story, you know what you want. Then, you can make it stronger, more compact and on point, because you've already gotten to where you want to go (the ending).
A quick side note, profanity is definitely allowed in works, but the rating needs to reflect it. So I just bumped the rating to 18 for the f-bomb.
As Flite has already pointed out, the story seems a bit clipped, a little too short. One of my friends wrote a short horror, and that took about eight chapters to complete. You could have easily spent a lot longer developing characters, the plot, and the myth in the story. As is, the story has two average, rather generic guys that we don't really get a reason to get attached to. And beyond a brief snapshot of how they talk and interact with each other, we don't really get to know them. Then they just die.
So perhaps go back and give them a little more attention.
Hope this helps!
Thanks for the feedback
I wrote this story when I was 11 that's why there's a lot of emoticons and horrible mistakes and I guess, I was just in a hurry and decided to just post it and not edit it. But thank you for that wonderful feedback. I'll make sure to not make the same mistakes again. 
Greetings the awesomeoffrance, Flite here for a review.
[I]Flite
This is in truth more like a script then a short story, more like a text between close friends than a short story. Or perhaps a drunk person telling a distorted ghost tale around a camp fire and can't quite remember the details.
This story lacks a visible structure, and your character development aren't quite there as of yet. You've also incorporated emoticons into a spoken dialogue, which as far as I'm concerned isn't quite how you'd go about writing prose. Unless, of course the emoticon is used in a text message. There is also the use of * * to indicate action, I'm guessing this is a habit picked up from a Role-playing forum. I've never seen that used in a short story before, most writers go the traditional way of writing our the action.
Perhaps you didn't intend this to be a serious short story? But I still feel obliged to point out some of the major problems I see with this story.
Plausibility and development of characters:
Characters are arguably one of the most important elements of fiction, in order for the reader to empathize with the story you're telling or getting whatever message it is you want them to receive. It is often through the mouth or eyes of a main protagonist. Hence, the plausibility of a character must be of a level where it is believable. The development also contributes to how 'real' the character is, I realize that within a short story this is more difficult. However, there are still enough room to develop them.
Throughout the entire story, we only see spoken interaction between Erike and Jack with no indication to their thoughts on the situation. Dialogue is often one of the best ways to bring our a character's personality, however in here the dialogue is not having that effect. My perception of the majority of the dialogue was the two guys joking around, then shouting at each other frantically.
In short, the two characters were just words on a page. You need to breath life into them.
5 Tips for Realistic Characters -> take a look at this. It offers wonderful insight for creating realistic characters.
Too fast, too much.
That's how I'd describe how you've written this story. Yes, the words contradict each other but allow me to explain what I mean.
Too quick: Refers to the lack of explanation behind a character's decision or stating something and not explaining why that has happened. For one example, when Jack heard the girl crying that could have possibly developed into something greater. But instead you brushed it off and did not bother to explain exactly who or why she was crying. This applies to the other cases when Jack or Erick heard strange sounds, no explanations, just stating it.
Too much: Refers to the amount of unnecessary content in here. You've used too many cases when Jack or Erick heard strange sounds but they all have the same vanilla taste to it. So they just merge into one, long line of ...I'm not even sure what it is. One or two example would have sufficed to get the point across. Such as the girl crying, or Jack hearing strange sounds. You can always develop these situations, right now they're just skeletons but add some flesh and blood and you'll see the difference.
I know you said to watch out for the grammar, so I won't go crazy on it. You can probably see my grammar isn't too great either. But most readers will glance at this, see the missing full stops and misspelling and will get turn off. Even if English isn't your first language (I'm just making an example), there is always spellcheck and at least make an effort to proof-read your work before posting it.
Another reason why this story didn't seem alive at all was that you basically 'told' us the entire thing. The tone being used here is similar to a monotonous robot reading off the terms and conditions[/b] before signing up for an email account.
This is one example, is an info dump as well. You've basically informed the readers this and this happened. Like listing facts, is much better to put those words into action and describe it to us.
Don't tell the reader 'the man was a bastard.' Say 'the man kicked a sick puppy.' See the difference there? In the first one, the author made the decision for you, but in the latter, the reader made the decision and will connect stronger. That is the difference.
One thing I will say is, the idea of this story has potential. Is refreshing basing a story of a phobia. Is just that your grammar, language and style needs some trimming to shape it up a bit.
If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.
Thanks for the feedback
I wrote this when I was 11 that's why there's childish emoticons and horrible mistakes and I guess, I was in a hurry and just decided to post it and not edit it. Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback. I'll make sure to not make the same mistakes again 
Oh, I was scared you were going to cut my head off for being so blunt. >_> But I'm glad I was able to offer you some advice.