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Raging Silence

by AlfonsoFernandez


There will always be something, even in nothing. 

For although I have hushed all this chaotic violence

My ears are abuzz with this unblemished silence. 


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5 Reviews


Points: 365
Reviews: 5

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Sat Sep 06, 2014 7:21 pm



I enjoy this poem and its length; it has a propulsive energy to it. I wouldn't mind seeing an expanded version, but I agree with other reviewers that it's powerful as a short poem. I would personally make the first period a comma; the poem would flow even better to me as a single sentence.




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9 Reviews


Points: 361
Reviews: 9

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Sat Sep 06, 2014 7:17 pm
LoseControl wrote a review...



Wow. It is rare to come across something so short yet so powerful. The message is incredible and very relevant, I feel, in our world today. We seem so obsessed with stopping all that is "wrong" with the world that we forget how boring, even haunting, it would be without the wrongs. I'm sorry if I got a bit off of the point, but that's how it hits me. The opening line is simple, yet elegant, and even though it may seem that it leads to an almost juvenile topic, you really make the idea come alive in the following couplet.

Great poem!




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175 Reviews


Points: 15167
Reviews: 175

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Sat Sep 06, 2014 6:51 pm
Harker wrote a review...



I really like this poem for many reasons. First of all, the length. Normally, a short poem is either humorous or boring. But this is beautiful and mysterious… and you manage that in three lines. Second, the vocabulary. Sometimes when someone uses such descriptive adjectives (yes, "descriptive adjectives" is an oxymoron), it would clutter up the piece. Somehow, these words fit into your poem seamlessly--at least, in my opinion. :) This is a beautiful poem.

-IronSpark




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62 Reviews


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Reviews: 62

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Sat Sep 06, 2014 6:45 pm
Poopsie says...



this is actually true for me since i have tenidis (is that how you spell it?)

Great poem alf :) :)




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200 Reviews


Points: 240
Reviews: 200

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Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:22 am
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EmeraldEyes wrote a review...



Hi.
So this is a short and arty piece of work.
You've made a lot of interesting sounds with this work. It has a very fluid sound to it, if that makes sense. XD

Each line you write is a paradox:

There will always be something, even in nothing.


Sometimes it feels like it doesn't really make sense and that type of language is just there to be arty. XD

I wasn't even sure "abuzz" was a real word. O.O

I think if this style is used it should be longer, there is room to expans on this.
It's an interesting idea, I wonder what inspired it. :)

Keep writing!




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279 Reviews


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Reviews: 279

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Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:20 am
MasterGrieves wrote a review...






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Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:43 am
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silverpen243 says...



this poem expresses a lot about your feelings and I think short poems are most expressive .





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