Young Writers Society

I enjoy this poem and its length; it has a propulsive energy to it. I wouldn't mind seeing an expanded version, but I agree with other reviewers that it's powerful as a short poem. I would personally make the first period a comma; the poem would flow even better to me as a single sentence.

Wow. It is rare to come across something so short yet so powerful. The message is incredible and very relevant, I feel, in our world today. We seem so obsessed with stopping all that is "wrong" with the world that we forget how boring, even haunting, it would be without the wrongs. I'm sorry if I got a bit off of the point, but that's how it hits me. The opening line is simple, yet elegant, and even though it may seem that it leads to an almost juvenile topic, you really make the idea come alive in the following couplet.

Great poem!

I really like this poem for many reasons. First of all, the length. Normally, a short poem is either humorous or boring. But this is beautiful and mysterious… and you manage that in three lines. Second, the vocabulary. Sometimes when someone uses such descriptive adjectives (yes, "descriptive adjectives" is an oxymoron), it would clutter up the piece. Somehow, these words fit into your poem seamlessly--at least, in my opinion. This is a beautiful poem.

-IronSpark

this is actually true for me since i have tenidis (is that how you spell it?)

Great poem alf

Hi.
So this is a short and arty piece of work.
You've made a lot of interesting sounds with this work. It has a very fluid sound to it, if that makes sense. XD

Each line you write is a paradox:

There will always be something, even in nothing.

this poem expresses a lot about your feelings and I think short poems are most expressive .