Young Writers Society

Lol

Hey Chips, I thought I'd give this puny work a review.

Well, looks like I really need to "Crow up" since the "conversation between two pigeons in a nest" just about cracked me up and you know I rarely crack up at anything in particular. But this was quite humorous, in a unique way.

There aren't many criticisms I could add just minor suggestions and interpretations.

I thought the "A conversation between two pigeons" should have been written last, as oppose to the pickup lines since they were mainly one-liners like the phrases which were written first.

My interpretation of this work, overall is that it's using birds as a representation of how humans relate to each other, in the sense of relationships and friendships which was quite witty, I might say.

"You know you're in the friend-zone when

the only birds you get are jailbirds. "

The first section, I would interpret to be a representation of those people/birds who are self-aware that they're in the friend-zone perhaps and don't necessarily like to address it. Haha Jailbirds though.

The second section about the pigeons, I found to be the most metaphorical. The way Pigeon 1 might have lead on Pigeon 2 into thinking they're more than friends and the excitement Pigeon 2 had was the reality of the motions people go through with perhaps an infatuated crush a love that was always one sided. The last part about falling "out of the nest and into the friend-zone" was a hilarious way to phrase and end it. I think it symbolized falling out of love - a literal heartbreak. Maybe I'm going too deep into things, they are just birds after all.

The third section with the pickup lines was very realistic in the sense that people unfortunately use corny ones all the time in the hopes to get the attention of another person, they're humorous and usually end with a slap. That could have been added into those lines?

Well done on this and I hope this review was useful.

~WeatherMan

Well this was an interesting little string of jokes. I don't really hear bird jokes and friend zone jokes jokes in the same fashion. So this new and quite unique in that standard. I honestly really like this sense humor, I do t really hear these types of jokes anymore. Good on you for that. I don't really have any complaints on this piece. Keep writing

I love love love humor. It's just something that I can't get enough of. I consider myself to be a very serious person but as soon as I see something that's the slightest bit ridiculous, I cannot... stop... laughing. I literally couldn't breathe while reading this. Especially the part about a conversation between two pigeons in a nest. When I say I laughed hard, I laughed HARD. Thanks for trying to kill me! I fell on the floor suffocating, my stomach was burning and my throat became sore. But those laughs are always the best ones. Thanks for making my day! I'm so glad I decided to read this poem!! XD

So humorous, so awesome. Dannnnnnnnngg, I could have never come up with this! Congrats on the Literary Spotlight! You really earned it, buddy!

It was good, i'm not gonna say, "I need to crow up." LOL but I agree, I cracked up at the ending. Cheesy, cliché, humor just knows how to make anyone smile!
Like the person beneath me said, congrats on Literary Spotlight. You really earned it, it really showed your creative side and your personality.
It shows you can be funny, and dedicated. I really liked it.

Congrats on getting in the Literary Spotlight!

Hi there!

Hehe. Just from the title and the description alone, I know this is going to be good

I really need to crow up since I found all of these funny xD

Okay, down to the seriousness.

Honesty, I feel that his piece is a bit jumbled. Is it a story? Is it a poem? I don't know. The first three parts that start out with "You know you're in the friend-zone" seem like a poem. And I was just starting to get in the groove of things when it changed to that conversation between the pigeons. Then just when I'm done reading that, you break into bird pick up lines. My point is, maybe break up each of these sections? Otherwise it seems like one whole piece that is all related. While it is technically all related, it's not really. Does that make sense? I feel like I'm not portraying my thoughts well. Ugh.

Anyways, this piece is a great read. I know that it's supposed to be funny and all that, but looking at it from a serious point of view, it's great. Everything flows well together and the parts that are directly related fit well together. I like how you focused on birds from a human's point of view and not a bird's. I'm not quite a fan of pieces written from an animal's perspective. That's just my opinion, really. Not to mention, I think it's a lot more humorous looking at it this way. 'Cause I'm pretty sure some people can relate to these poor friend-zoned birds.

Good job overall! I really enjoyed reading this and I got a good laugh out of it. Thanks for writing this

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

Hey Chips! I've never seen a Literary Spotlight work without any comments, so I've grabbed the opportunity to write a quick review for you.

Some little nitpicks first...
There are a few comma errors here and there that I'm going to point out for you. Are they supposed to be there for some poetic reason? I'm not a poet at all, so I wouldn't know. These errors just interrupted the nice flow, in my opinion:

the only birds you get, are jailbirds.

"All my friends call me, Tweet, but you can call me Twitter.