Amazing poem! I've heard of the original Where I'm From poem by George Ella Lyon in my Creative Writing class (in which we had to write our own), but that wasn't until I was fifteen years old! I think it's wonderful that you wrote this at such a young age, and it's even more incredible that it is your first poem.
Here are some things I noticed from the original poem and others that I found useful in creating my own.
-The things you list as where you're 'from' don't always have to be objects or actions, but they can also be things like phrases that you commonly hear, or are called.
ex. "I'm from the know-it-alls and pass-it-ons, From perk up and pipe down" (Lyons)
-You can also describe things from your life that aren't necessarily a thing you can picture or see; explore the five senses and describe smells, tastes, and sounds you associate with your early childhood and present day.
ex. "From the scent of homemade biscuits filling up the kitchen"
ex. "From the high-pitched chirps of chalk on a blackboard" etc.
-Also, you can start two or three lines without using "I'm from," or "From," and simply describe the thing from the previous line, or add a new item to the list.
ex. "the Dutch elm,
whose long-gone limbs I remember
as if they were my own." (Lyons)
ex. "fried corn and strong coffee." (Lyons)
I recommend looking at George Ella Lyon's Where I'm From poem, and see how she uses these techniques! Other than that, I loved your poem, keep up the good work!
Points: 506
Reviews: 9
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